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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982670">lingerey</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisismelodrama/pseuds/thisismelodrama'>thisismelodrama</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandonment Issues, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bathing/Washing, Begging, Ben has a dirty mouth, Ben’s POV in a few chapters, Bratty Rey, Breeding Kink, Come Swallowing, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Dominant Ben Solo, Engagement, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hair Braiding, Hate Sex, Idiots in Love, Kinda, Masturbation, Mention of pregnancy, Mentions of Drug and Overdose, Mirror Sex, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Non-Consensual Touching, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not between Ben and Rey, Nudes, Oral Sex, Pining, Praise Kink, References to Child Abandonment, Rough Sex, Self-Indulgent moment where Ben and Rey watches Goblin together, Sex Crime, Sexting, Sexual Harassment, So much smut, Spanking, Squirting, Textfic, Trust Issues, Unsafe Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Vibrators, Woman on Top, blowjob, but no actual pregnancy, if i miss a tag pls lmk in comments and i will add!!!!, references to past emotional abuse, revenge porn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:26:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>36,351</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982670</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisismelodrama/pseuds/thisismelodrama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Rey accidentally sends a lingerie pic to Ben, the coworker she despises.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <b>NOW COMPLETE.</b></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kaydel Ko Connix/Jannah/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Din Djarin, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>83</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>511</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Ijustfellintothissendhelp</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This started out as a dumb textfic on my writing account and then it became something that consumed my life from May until September. I am grateful for everyone that read this story and how much y'all cheered for Ben and Rey, and I will always have a soft spot for them in my heart. </p><p> <br/>Please don't forget to leave kudos and comments!!! 💖</p><p> </p><p>  </p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>WARNING</b>: At the beginning of this fic, albeit briefly, Rey is dating someone else. If that's not your thing, please skip this one. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1g8lyg4TEx9lQKfAXLYzwZ?si=qSAk21G8SfCE13x_ezKEFQ"> <b>suggested playlist</b> </a>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>⇢rey's socials 👩🏻💻📸</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>⇢ ben's socials 👨🏻💻📸</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>1. Of course things start with a party.</b>
</p><p>
  
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  <b>2.</b>
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  <b>3.</b>
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  <b>4.</b>
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  <b>5.</b>
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  <b>6.</b>
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  <b>7.</b>
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  <b>8.</b>
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  <b>9.</b>
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  <b>10.</b>
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  <b>12.</b>
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  <b>14.</b>
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  <b>  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>15.</b>
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  <b>16.</b>
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  <b>19.</b>
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  <b>25.</b>
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  <b>27.</b>
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  <b>28.</b>
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben stares at the phone in his hand, still not quite believing what he’s seeing even though Rey explained what’s going on. He feels rage coursing through his veins at that, when he remembers why she made the mistake of accidentally sending him the pic, and remembers what happened at Jannah’s party, seeing her hooking up with <em>that </em>guy. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He knows it’s wrong, but he’s helpless as not to look at the picture once again, taking in and committing every part of her body to his memory, wishing he could see her like that in person. She has… a <em> very nice </em>body. He <em>always </em>thought that, but seeing it with his own eyes is really something else. He can clearly see the smattering of freckles across her collarbones. He can clearly see the shape and color of her nipples—something he always wondered about—, which makes his traitorous cock twitch with interest inside his flannel pajama pants. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It’s late. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He should just go to sleep, but once again he keeps asking himself why Rey started to hate him out of nowhere ever since their families’ publishing houses merged, and the fact he didn’t do anything to stop that, to stop her from disliking him so strongly when his feelings for her are completely opposite. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ben knows he shouldn’t continue staring at the pic and should just delete it. He fucked up admitting he thinks she’s hot—<em> of course, </em>she is— and there’s no way out of this now. Perhaps she will take pity on him and let it go. Pretend it didn’t happen. He should let go and delete the pic. And yet…</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>And yet his cock is hard and the woman he's been in love with is laying on her bed almost naked and all his fantasies come back to his mind. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Rey, lying naked beneath him, moaning his name, begging for him to make her come again and again and again. Rey, on her knees with her smart mouth wrapped around his cock, taking it all, being a good girl and letting him fuck her mouth and then swallowing every single drop of his cum. Rey, letting him bury his head between her thighs, so he could taste her pretty, sweet pussy until she comes so hard she screams. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It’s out of his own volition, really, when he pushes down his pants and takes himself on his hand, not even bothering to take the bottle of lube out of his nightstand. He strokes himself fast, hard, almost furiously, pictures of Rey all over his mind, his heart beating wildly in his chest, sighing, moaning her name until he comes all over his hand with a grunt. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He gets up and cleans himself up in his suite, but when he comes to his bed, instead of feeling sated, he feels… <em>Wrong</em>. Weird. Ashamed of himself. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ben knows he shouldn’t have done that. It’s why when he jerks off, he always does it mechanically, trying his best to not have <em>her </em>in his mind because it always felt wrong in a way, and jerking off was just a means to an end. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He couldn’t stop himself this time, not after <em>that </em>pic. Armie is right. He really should do something about it, but just saying he thinks she’s hot made him incredibly nervous, so it’s not like he can look at her and just confess. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She <em>hates </em>him. She’ll think he is pathetic. She’s probably disgusted at the idea of him seeing her almost naked.</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>Yes, he really should do something about it and that thing is: move on. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Nevertheless, it’ll be weird as fuck to see her at the office tomorrow. He’s not even sure if he’ll manage to look at her and not remember the color of her pert nipples and how much he wants to suck them.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><em> Fuck</em>. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He hates everything.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>WARNING</b>: On this chapter, Rey teases Ben with more nudes of herself, even though she's still dating Ezra. She breaks up with him immediately later, but please skip this one if that's not your thing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>29.</b>
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  <b>38.</b>
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  <b>40.</b>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Fine. Keep thinking you’re going to find someone that will deal with your shit as I did and still be around.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Rey looks at herself in the mirror and tries to fix her makeup to pretend she hasn’t spent the last ten minutes crying. The truth is, Ezra’s words hurt more than she would like to admit. They haven’t been dating for long; just over three months, and still Rey hates the fact that he is right. Adding the fact of what her best friends said: that she jumps from relationship to relationship, because the idea of being alone, not being wanted and cared for by someone else resembles too much of what she had to endure during her first years of childhood.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, she loves her grandfather. Of course, she’s grateful for everything he’s done to make sure she had a good life after she was finally found and saved from yet another horrible foster home.</p><p> </p><p>Still, it’s so hard to forget the bad memories. Isn’t it funny, how she’s scarred for life because of the early years of her childhood?</p><p> </p><p>Rey’s resolve waivers. She doesn’t feel as bold as she felt when she was saying what she was about to do. She thinks that perhaps Rose has a point. Sex <em>always </em>makes everything so complicated.</p><p> </p><p>But then again, it would be so different with Ben, she thinks. She wouldn’t have to worry about what he’s feeling about her, if she’s done everything right, and if he said she isn’t a good shag, she wouldn’t care, anyway. She’s way past the point of caring about what Ben Solo thinks of her.</p><p> </p><p>And it would be an experiment. An opportunity for Rey to let go of her inhibitions, a way for her to let her guard down, to not be stuck inside her head worrying if she’s being <em>too clingy</em>, <em>too needy</em>, <em>too much. </em>Having sex for the sake of having sex, just for the physical aspect of it, with someone whose opinion of her doesn’t matter in the slightest <em>could</em> be good.</p><p> </p><p>She takes one last look at herself in the mirror, and once she checks that her makeup is once again intact, she puts on the mask of the self-confident boss again. And she smiles.</p><p> </p><p>With that state of mind and a speech prepared, she sought Ben’s whereabouts. After trying his office, the meeting room <em>and </em>his secretary, Rey doesn't find him anywhere, until she remembers he must be in the break room making his own coffee—because he’s picky like <em>that</em>—, so when she makes her way there, she finds that her guess was right.</p><p> </p><p>His back is turned to the door, and he doesn't realize she’s there yet. She watches as he stands there in his expensive Armani suit, and she never really took a moment to just <em>look</em> at him. The truth is Rey never really saw him as a guy, as someone that could catch her eye. And it’s not like he isn’t <em>attractive</em>, because he definitely is, maybe in an unconventional way. He is definitely not her type; but she can understand the appeal, yes.</p><p> </p><p>He is so… <em>big</em>. <em>Massive</em>. He’s all broadness with his wide shoulders, long legs, and strong thighs. Rey wonders if he’s… <em>Proportional</em>. And it’s just a fleeting thought, but it makes a shiver run through her body all the same, because never in her wildest dreams—or perhaps nightmares—she thought she would be thinking about Ben’s cock.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh, God.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He’s focused on his task, so she seizes the opportunity to take a deep breath and focus since it’s very likely she may not feel so bold once Ben looks at her. Not that she would be nervous if he made eye contact with her, <em>of course</em> not. It’s just that she’s putting herself out there, letting herself be vulnerable and open to rejection—to someone she can’t <em>stand</em>, even.</p><p> </p><p><em>No</em>. She refuses to let that happen.</p><p> </p><p>She watches as Ben swiftly works the fancy espresso machine he demanded to be bought for the break room—his hands are fast, and he follows the steps flawlessly—, and Rey can't help but think that perhaps he worked as a barista years ago when he was still in college. Just the absurdity of this thought, of picturing the Mister-Perpetually-Scowling working serving people makes a smile tug at her lips.</p><p> </p><p>And... she’s getting off track.</p><p> </p><p>She enters the room and clears her throat. When he turns around and realizes it’s her, he sighs, and she tries not to take it so personally.</p><p> </p><p>“Wow, you’re <em>that </em>happy to see me?”</p><p> </p><p>He sighs again before taking a sip of his coffee. On the mug on his hands, there is a picture of his dog, Kylo, and maybe that’s the only soft thing about Ben Solo: how much he loves his dog, to the point of having a mug with a picture of him on it.</p><p> </p><p>He continues to stand there, leaning against the counter, sipping his coffee like she isn’t there, avoiding looking her in the eyes.</p><p> </p><p>And then Rey realizes he’s <em>nervous. </em>Because of <em>her.</em></p><p> </p><p>She smirks and takes a step closer. “I want to talk to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“If it’s about why we had to pass that book about space wizards you liked so much, I already told you—”</p><p> </p><p>Rey scoffs. “No, it’s not about <em>that</em>, even though I’m still mad about it, the love story of the couple was really beautiful—”</p><p> </p><p>Ben rolls his eyes. “It was garbage.”</p><p> </p><p>“God, why are you <em>always </em>saying stuff like that just because I—” Rey is so used to having arguments like this with him she almost forgot <em>why </em>she’s really here. <em>Almost</em>. And it wasn’t to talk about books. She takes a deep breath again and smiles sweetly at him. “I have a proposition for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Ben looks at her, <em>really</em> looks at her, for the first time since she’s entered the room, and then: “Were you crying?”</p><p> </p><p>Rey is so startled by his question she takes a step back. Her hand comes up to her chest and it feels as if she’s been struck. She honestly can’t believe he <em>noticed</em> that.</p><p> </p><p>He looks at her expectantly, and she’s at a loss for words. What should she say?</p><p> </p><p>She settles for a lie. <em>Of course.</em></p><p> </p><p>“No,” she laughs nervously. “It’s just an allergy to the new makeup I was wearing.”</p><p> </p><p>“You should stop wearing it, then,” he replies. There’s a softness in his voice he usually doesn’t use with anyone but his mother and the fact that Rey recognizes it shocks her a little, and it’s obvious he doesn’t believe her at all.</p><p> </p><p>He turns around to wash his mug in the sink and Rey takes this as a cue to continue speaking: “Anyway, as I was saying, I have a proposition for you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure, just settle things with my secretary, and we can talk about it.”</p><p> </p><p>His… <em>secretary?  </em>Ugh, he’s such an <em>idiot</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Ben,” she continues, “I don’t think your secretary will be needed to settle this.”</p><p> </p><p>Ben turns around and frowns. “Why not?”</p><p> </p><p>His voice is serious and professional. Rey can already feel her patience with him beginning to fade.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a personal matter,” she replies with a tight smile.</p><p> </p><p>Ben stares at her. She stares back. She notices the tip of his ears are red and then realizes he’s nervous again.</p><p> </p><p>Rey supposes that even if she doesn’t know much about Ben, she knows a thing or two about making men nervous with her looks. And if that’s the thing that will make him accept her crazy idea, so be it.</p><p> </p><p>She steps closer, leaving almost no space between them and looks up at him with pleading eyes. She watches his Adam’s apple bob as he looks down at her. “Can you please meet me at my place after work?” </p><p> </p><p>Ben averts his gaze and clears his throat. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Rey.”</p><p> </p><p>“You haven’t even heard what I have to say.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you can’t say it here at the office, then I don’t want to hear it.”</p><p> </p><p>This pompous, stubborn <em>asshole</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Rey puts her hand on his chest, and he turns his head to look at her hand and then at her eyes. “Rey.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please?”</p><p> </p><p>He stays silent, just staring at her. Rey looks at the scattering of moles on his face and then at his lips, paying attention to how full they are. She feels the sudden urge to stand on her tiptoes and kiss him. To taste his lips. To see if they’re soft as they seem to be. To see how he would react, if he would lose his mind at her shameless imprudence—part of her <em>wants</em> him to completely lose it, to push his buttons, just to see how far he would go if she teases him just <em>enough.</em></p><p> </p><p>The idea makes her stagger a little.</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, she thinks that she should give up. Maybe she should take Rose’s advice into account and not complicate her life any more than it already is.</p><p> </p><p>But then she looks at his lips again and…</p><p> </p><p>She throws caution out the window.</p><p> </p><p>Standing on her tiptoes, she plants her lips on his cheek, near the corner of his mouth, hearing his sharp intake of breath of surprise as she whispers, “I promise you won’t regret it.”</p><p> </p><p>She takes a last look at him before turning around—she’s scared he’ll see on her face what she’s playing at—and leaving.</p><p> </p><p>The ball is in his court. But honestly, she’s confident he’s going to show up.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>42.</b>
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</p><p>
  <b>43. *narrator's voice*: She wasn't going to be careful.</b>
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He’s not going to show up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s wearing her pink silk robe—the one that’s too short and shows most of her legs—without a bra and underwear, and Rey knows it’s a bit see-through, and she’s done that on purpose, and he’s not going to show up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She knows he’s probably already left the office because his car wasn’t beside her parking spot when <em>she</em> left.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Rey has been waiting for him for almost an hour now, and she feels utterly stupid for even<em> entertaining</em> the idea of doing this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Honestly, <em>what the fuck</em> was she thinking?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just the fact that she’s even considering propositioning <em>Ben</em>—of all people!—to fuck her shows how much she completely lost her mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s probably thinking she’s pathetic. Laughing at her. Plotting her downfall. Or maybe, to her complete <em>horror,</em> even considering telling what she’s done to her <em>grandfather</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey replays their moment in the break room over and over again, thinking that maybe it was too much to resort to physical touch. She wonders if she maybe misread his surprise for something else entirely—perhaps he was disgusted by the sudden, completely out of the blue display of affection, something that <em>never</em> happened to them outside formal events—and even then, she thinks Ben always does his best to stay away and avoid even standing closer than he has to. Just when she thought she wouldn’t be <em>too clingy</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She ponders if he washed his face fervently to erase the imprint of her lips on his cheek. She feels something tighten in her chest and it’s hard not to feel mortified and anxious at her own hasty decision. It’s hard not to let her mind spiral into deprecating thoughts about herself and the various reasons she wouldn’t even make a man she hates want to fuck her just for the sake of fucking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey pads through the living room, deciding she deserves to drink a few glasses of wine. Maybe a whole bottle. Or two.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey walks to the kitchen and opens the door of the wine cellar. She picks a bottle of <em>Cabernet Sauvignon</em> and grabs a glass on the top shelf next to it. She turns around to put the bottle on the kitchen island, opens the drawer, and takes out the corkscrew. Just when she’s starting to work on opening the bottle, the doorbell rings.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her stomach flutters; she doesn’t know what to do. When she looks at her hand holding the glass, she sees it’s shaking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So maybe she’s nervous. She’s never done anything like this before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Feeling a bit vindictive for all the waiting he’s made her do, she takes her time opening the bottle of wine, pouring it slowly on her glass and sipping it a little.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Only then, she tightens the tie of her robe and makes her way through the hall until she stops right by the door. She takes a deep breath before she finally opens.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The first thing she notices is that Ben is still in the same clothes he was wearing this morning. For a moment, Rey is confused because if he took so long to even show up, why hasn’t he changed?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She gazes up at him only to see his eyes rake down her body, stopping to stay glued to her chest. <em>Bingo! </em>Her nipples are taut beneath the robe and when he realizes he got caught staring at them, a faint blush spreads on his cheeks, making him finally look into her eyes. Rey watches as his expression changes back to the usual scowl, and she suppresses the urge to smirk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She figures that acting as if she hadn’t caught him ogling her tits is a sign that maybe he’ll accept her proposal.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Come on in,” she says, moving her body to make way for him to pass.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey closes and locks the door. When she turns around, she finds Ben is still standing in the hall.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t act like you haven’t been here already,” she says cheekily and moves past him, waiting for him to follow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey goes back to the kitchen, grabs the bottle and the glass. She can see Ben standing in the middle of the living room, looking around his surroundings. She wonders if he still thinks she’s playing a prank with him. As she pours more wine on her glass, she asks, “You want some wine?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No,” he replies curtly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey smiles before sipping on the wine and coming back to the living room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why are you standing in the middle of the room like that? Sit on the couch, make yourself comfortable.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I prefer to stand, thank you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She scoffs. “Why are you always so uptight, you need to—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rey,” There’s an edge of warning on his tone like he’s telling her he’s done with her games. Something that makes a shiver run through Rey’s body. She presses her thighs together, realizing she’s wet already. “Can you please just tell me what the fuck do you want?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey nods and takes a sip of his wine, and then walks over to place the glass on the coffee table. She turns around and looks at him. <em>Fine</em>. She’s done waiting, too, and she’s horny and wants to be fucked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want you to fuck me,” she says simply.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben looks at her in stunned silence for minutes that seem like hours and then—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He <em>laughs</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s not a mocking laugh, there’s something forced and bitter about it, but still, Rey sees <em>red</em>. “Why are you laughing, you bloody <em>bastard</em>?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben stops laughing, realizing she’s angry. He straightens his posture, staring right into her eyes. “Because the idea is <em>preposterous</em>,” he spats.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She chooses not to feel humiliated by <em>that</em>, holding onto the anger instead.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I knew you were planning something wicked, I shouldn’t even—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey walks to him, tilting her chin up in defiance, refusing to be intimidated by his height, his size. She’s letting the anger inside her boil. “Can you tone it down with the pretentious vocabulary, you dickwat? Why is it <em>preposterous</em>, as you say? The idea of sleeping with me is so—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t finish that sentence,” he warns, hands closed in tight fists.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why?” she asks. “What are you gonna do—” she pokes his chest with her finger, “Tell my grandfather?” she does it again, enjoying the thrill running through her body at the way she’s making him so <em>mad</em> at her. “Tell your mother? Say I’m plotting your downfall or something equally dumb?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Rey</em>,” he says through gritted teeth, grabbing her wrist to make her stop. “Stop acting like a spoiled brat.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why? Are you going to put me over your knee and spank me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They’re so <em>close, </em>their faces inches apart. His eyes are dark as he stares down at her and licks his lips. Twice in the same day, Rey is overwhelmed with the need to kiss him, to finally taste him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You really want that?” he asks hoarsely.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” she replies firmly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And then he lifts her off her feet, and she lets out a yelp of surprise as he puts her over his shoulder. Her robe hikes up, exposing her ass. Ben curses as he sees she’s not wearing any underwear before he palms one cheek and pinches it. <em>Hard</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It doesn’t hurt at all. In fact, it just makes her wetter, thinking about how it would feel if he actually spanked her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey didn’t know she would be enjoying all of <em>this—</em>and she doesn’t even know <em>what </em>this is, exactly— so much. Playing catch, letting him dominate her, giving in control of herself for a moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She feels like she’s playing with fire, but finds she doesn’t mind in the slightest if she gets burned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is this all you can do?” she asks, voice filled with mischief. “Just a little pinch?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It takes her by surprise when he finally does it. And the slap he lands on her right ass cheek echoes through the living room as something between a scream and a moan comes out of her mouth. It stings a bit, but this only fuels her pleasure. She wants <em>more</em>. Her cunt throbs with need, clenching around nothing, her clit aches for friction. She whimpers and moves her hips up a bit to grind against his shoulder, dripping all over his suit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re making a mess of my suit, Rey,” he complains. “Where’s your bedroom?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Upstairs,” she says, out of breath. She squirms against him again. “Ben, I—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He slaps her harder, this time on the other ass cheek.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, <em>god</em>,” she moans.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Behave,” he commands before finally starting making his way to her bedroom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Something tells her she won’t.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>$$$</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In all the years they’ve known each other, and this year when they worked together closely, Rey never thought about how Ben would be in bed, obviously. The mere idea of thinking about him like <em>that</em> would be absurd just a few days ago. Now, when he all but throws her on the bed, she thinks it shouldn’t be a surprise to her, the way he’s all controlling and demanding, because that’s exactly how he runs their company.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>However, it <em>is</em> surprising how much she enjoys it. She thought sex would always be something connected to how much she felt for her partner and the physical aspect of it didn’t matter that much. It’s so liberating to do something that isn’t on the script for her. It’s freeing to let someone else take over, to give in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s so <em>thrilling</em> to not be a <em>good girl </em>for a while.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Standing in the front of her bed, Ben looks at her with wild eyes. He runs his hands through his hair—something that she knows is his nervous tick—and says, “You want me to fuck you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s not a question. It’s an affirmation, like he’s still coming up with terms with the idea.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” she replies firmly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You want my cock?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” she replies again. Rey licks her lips as her eyes rake over the outline of his cock on his trousers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Take off your robe,” he orders.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey does as he says slowly because she likes to<em> tease</em>. Pushing the tie of her robe, she finally reveals herself to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She thought she would feel self-conscious about herself when that happened because it’s how she normally feels whenever she gets naked with someone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben’s hungry eyes and his huge erection don’t allow her self-esteem to take a hit, though. His eyes look over her entire body, and it’s clear he thinks she’s hot. It’s clear he feels attracted to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Spread your legs.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She does what he asks, never once taking her eyes off of him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wider. Let me see this pretty pussy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her breath hitches at his filthy praise. Rey bends her knees up, a blush spreading through her body at being so open for him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re…” he trails off and shakes his head, changing his mind to whatever he was going to say.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey is curious about that and opens her mouth to say something, but he takes her by surprise when he gets closer and pushes her by her thighs to the edge of the bed, kneeling in front of them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re so <em>wet</em> for me,” His fingers trace her labia gently, coating them in her wetness, and Rey lets out a soft cry. His touch is so light compared to the way he was with her earlier, and she doesn’t need that right now. She cants her hips forward, hoping he takes the hint.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He smirks as one large finger prods at her entrance. “So <em>tight</em>. Are you sure you can handle my cock, you little <em>brat</em>?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Yes</em>, Ben, <em>please</em>,” she whines.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s right,” he nods. “I like the sound of you begging.” He moves his head to her cunt. “Beg me to fuck you with my tongue.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Please</em>,” she begs. “It’ll feel so <em>good</em>, Ben, <em>please—”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>She is way past the point of caring if her whines are too needy right now. She wants to feel his mouth on her cunt, wants to know how it would feel sucking at her clit, she just wants to come.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben flicks her tongue at her slit, and she arches off the bed. His hands press her thighs down hard. “Be <em>still</em> or I will stop.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>No</em>,” she mumbles. “I’ll be quiet, I’ll be good.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hmm,” he mutters as he flicks his tongue at her again. He swirls the tip of his tongue at her clit lightly, and she squirms against him. “You taste good.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s just a little embarrassed by the way she eagerly asks, “Yeah?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So <em>sweet</em>,” he answers and licks her again. The tip of his nose bumps at her clit as his tongue prods at her entrance, and<em> fuck</em>, she’s already so <em>close, </em>if he just—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly, he stops and stands up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey doesn’t know what’s happening. She’s ready to complain, to <em>demand</em> that he makes her come <em>now </em>when he unbuckles his belt and tugs down the zipper of his trousers, taking his cock out of his boxer briefs. He’s flushed red and long and thick in his hands, and she can only imagine how he’ll feel on hers. There’s a bead of pre-cum at the tip of his cock, and he smears it on his shaft before starting to jerk off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That wasn’t what Rey was expecting to happen at all, but <em>damn</em>, if she doesn’t think it’s hot the way he pumps himself up and down, the way his brows knit in focus, the way his cheeks flush, the muttering of <em>fucks</em> that comes out hoarsely of his mouth. She works her own hand down her body slowly, pinching her nipples and letting out a soft cry. He looks at her while she plays with her tits, lips closed in a tight line.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She can tell he’s close.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rey,” he says in a tight voice. “Can I come on your stomach?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Unexpectedly, she feels kind of upset he won’t come inside her—and that’s something she never let others do and something they didn’t even talk about yet. She doesn’t know why and it’s kind of disconcerting, the sudden need she feels for him to finish inside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s not long until Ben is coming with a grunt as warm and thick splatters of white land on her stomach. He inhales deeply, his entire expression softening in relief.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She thinks now he’s going to take care of her. Maybe he just needed to take the edge off and now he can fuck her hard and good, make her scream as she comes on his thick cock again and again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But Ben just puts himself back on his boxer briefs, zips up his trousers, and closes his belt. With a serious face, he says, “I’ll fuck you once you behave. <em>Brats</em> don’t deserve to come, Rey.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And leaves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey is left gaping—the anger that she felt earlier boiling inside her, and she swears she will knee him on the crotch tomorrow, as soon as he comes into the office.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That <em>bloody</em> fucking <em>bastard.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s so fucking angry she could cry. But she won’t give him the satisfaction. No fucking way. Rey almost gets up to clean his mess, when she looks at his cum drying on her stomach and touches it with a finger, bringing it to her lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Tasting him</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Something <em>wild </em>inside her takes over, and she remembers how she wanted him to finish inside her. Soon, she’s coating her fingers with his cum before easing them into her cunt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She feels <em>dirty</em>. Thoroughly debauched.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But as she moans loudly in her empty bedroom and works her fingers hard and fast inside her, wondering about how it will feel when it’s his fingers instead of hers, as she’s running towards an orgasm that feels different, more powerful than any she’s ever had, Rey finds she doesn’t care at all if she’s going to get herself dirty to get what she wants.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And that brats do <em>deserve</em> to come, after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>44. Rey is curious and scrolls through his insta 👀</b>
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  <b>45.</b>
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  <b>48. She's back at her best behavior. 😳💕</b>
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  <b>49.</b>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>51. MONDAY.</b>
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  <b>52. Sure, Rey.</b>
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  <b>53.</b>
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  <b>54.</b>
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  <b>55.</b>
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  <b>56.</b>
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  <b>58. </b>
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  <b>59.










60.











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</b></p><p>
  
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  <b>68.</b>
  
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>69. TUESDAY.</b>
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  <b>70.</b>
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  <b>71.</b>
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  <b>72.</b>
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  <b>73. WEDNESDAY.</b>
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  <b>74.</b>
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  <b>75. THURSDAY.</b>
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  <b>76. FRIDAY.</b>
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  <b>77.</b>
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>His lips are on hers as soon as they get into her house and drops his bag on the floor by the doorstep. It’s a shock, at first; because Rey wasn’t expecting it. She intended to offer him a drink, and then maybe lead him upstairs after that because she was incredibly nervous about tonight. She also didn’t think he would even kiss her, and she assumes—at least to herself— that it’s disconcerting in an unnerving way to think that he wouldn't do that, that it's something she couldn't picture both of them doing at all, but not the sex itself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Despite the shock and surprise and her inner turmoil, when she focuses on the soft feeling of his soft, plush lips against hers, Rey has to admit it's a good kiss. More than that, even. It's <em>fucking </em>great. Ben cradles her face between his enormous hands so tenderly, she feels a tug inside her chest. And then he's grunting into her mouth, his tongue darting out to lick her lower lip, asking her permission to push inside. When she allows it, Rey moans into the kiss, their tongues sliding together, her hands coming up to lock around his neck. For a moment, she thinks they could spend all night like this—making out like teenagers in front of her doorstep, hands mapping through each other's bodies—because it feels so… <em>nice. Different. </em>A <em>fantastic </em>different. But Rey feels his cock hard against her stomach and her cunt throbs with need and Bey seems to pick up on that, letting out a grunt as he lifts her off her feet and heads to the stairs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they get to her bedroom, Ben walks them towards the bed, and without breaking the kiss, he sits at the edge of the bed with her parched on his lap. Rey takes the opportunity to run her hands on his chest, her deft fingers trying to undo the buttons of his shirt, but he grabs her wrists and stops her. Rey breaks the kiss and looks at him through hooded eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” she asks in a small voice, scared he’ll just storm off again. Rey wants this so much it <em>scares</em> her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His eyes don't lie, though. They’re dark, pupils wide blown—and maybe she doesn’t know him that well, and maybe a week ago she wouldn’t think they would ever be in this situation, and maybe propositioning him would come to be a bad idea, but at this moment, as he locks his gaze with hers, she can tell he wants this as much as she does.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So Rey knows she’s not alone in this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Have you forgotten your punishment?” he asks, his deep voice rumbling through the quiet bedroom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Oh</em>,” is all she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben starts undressing her efficiently—and as he tears off her blouse, skirt, bra and underwear—Rey doesn’t even have it in her to be her usual self and say something snarky. She’s too excited for what he’s about to do, her heart beating so fast she thinks it’s impossible he can’t hear it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you think I should do here, Rey?” he asks, his fingers tracing her cunt, drawing a moan out of her. “So <em>wet</em> already, goddammit.” He brings his fingers to his mouth, tasting them. “<em>Delicious</em>. I'm gonna lick this pussy until you can't see straight. But first…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben maneuvers her body like she's a doll and weighs nothing and puts her over his knee, his hands immediately coming down to her ass, caressing each cheek slowly, as if he isn't about to spank her. “You have such a lovely ass, I always thought that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>What? </em>Rey thinks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The idea of him thinking <em>that </em>of her awakening something wild and slightly terrifying inside her, something she doesn't even know how to name yet. But before she can turn her head and ask what he means, she feels the sting of his hand smacking her, a scream escaping her mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you want me to set on a number or do I just go on until your pretty ass gets a pretty shade of red?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey knows he's waiting for an answer, but she doesn't know what to choose. Both options are good enough for her, arousal spiking up inside her body.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>”Hmm? Rey?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Whatever–whatever you want, Ben,” she replies, voice muffled by the sheets.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Really?” he asks, voice tinged with wonder. “You're gonna let me do whatever I want to you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey never thought she would be in this position—and to be fair, she doesn't know which part is more daunting: Ben asking her <em>that </em>or she allowing it, giving him the permission to do whatever he wants to do with her, at least for the weekend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, I will,” she replies, a little breathless.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Good girl</em>,” he praises.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then, his hand smacks her again one, two, three, four, five times. After the fifth, she stops counting, too focused on the feeling of his hand marking her ass. Rey squirms and screams and moans, her hands almost ripping the sheets as the mix of pleasure and pain running through her body borders on overwhelming. She's so <em>wet </em>she feels it dripping down her inner thighs—and <em>god</em>, Rey wants to beg for him to take care of the burning need she feels inside of her, but she promised she would let him do whatever he wanted…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben stops.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey hears his sharp intake of breath, before he calmly caresses her ass. “I think that’s enough for today,” he tells her. “Now… Will you be a good girl for me and let me fuck you? Make you come on my cock?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, <em>please,</em>” she murmurs against the sheets.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben grabs her and pulls her back towards him and it surprises her that she goes willingly. He puts one of his hands on her ass, bringing her body closer and the other one her neck as his mouth finds hers in a searing kiss. There's a certain desperation to it, too, in the way he holds her almost <em>too tight, </em>in the way his lips move against hers, like he's shocked that she let him do that to her and maybe he thinks she'll back off now. It appears she isn't the only one being affected by the whole ordeal, and to be honest, Rey doesn't know if that's a good thing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She wants Ben to dominate and control, like he said he would. Not to make her get too much into her head and scrutinize every word, every kiss, every touch. There's a part of her that keeps telling that this is a <em>bad idea</em>—ironically, it always sounds like Rose, so maybe she's just going insane, <em>right</em>?—, that it doesn't matter what she said during the week, they should just forget it ever happened and don't go even further than they already did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But his soft lips against hers, now kissing her like he doesn't have a care in the world, like she's the only thing that matters at the moment and the way his hands move slowly up and down on her back makes her feel so… <em>cherished. </em>It's an intoxicating feeling—something Rey isn't used to at all. No one she ever slept with made her feel like that. And the irony of someone that <em>hates </em>her making her feel like that isn't lost on her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>God, she really should just ask him to go.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But her hands move like they have a mind of their own—and Rey undresses him the same way he did a few minutes ago: first his suit jacket, followed up by his tie and shirt. And then she runs her hands on his solid, smooth chest, all muscles and pale skin making such a beautiful contrast to her tanned one. Rey slides down her hands and unbuckles his belt and fumbles with the zipper of his trousers until he grabs her hands, stopping her. Ben puts his arms around her and flips them, laying down on top of her. Rey kisses him again, slowly this time, but soon he's moving lower—his mouth leaving hickeys on her neck and collarbone, then lavishing her tits until she writhes, tugging at his hair to stop sucking on her nipples that are sensitive and raw.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fine, I get it, I'll stop,” he murmurs with a kiss on her breastbone. His mouth makes a trail of open-mouthed kisses on her stomach. He bents her knees up, leaving her open and spread out to him and she knows what he's about to do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And maybe her previous partners weren't <em>that</em> enthusiastic about going down on her, and it's strangely exhilarating and somewhat <em>adorable </em>how eager he is to eat her out, so maybe she should just take what she could get and don't complain.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But the whole reason for doing that with Ben is her being allowed to get what she wants, too. If she's going to be letting her guard down, if she's going to give in, she wants to <em>take</em>, too. And right now she wants him to fuck her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>”Ben.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben lifts his head up, his hand reaching down to touch her cunt. He traces his fingers on her up and down lazily, coating them on her wetness. “Look at this pretty pussy, shining wet for me,” he rasps out. ”Wanna eat you out. Need to taste you, been thinking about this all week.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey doesn't know what’s more disconcerting: once again, him confessing he's been thinking about her—although she's been teasing and sexting him all week and <em>she</em> thought about <em>him</em> and imagining how it would be when they fucked, the idea that <em>she</em> crossed his mind more than once, even though it was about sex—or his choice of words. <em>Need</em>. She gazes at him, thinking of ways to put her own needs into words but she forgets her own name when he closes his mouth on her clit and sucks lightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her back bows off the bed, a hoarse shout escaping her lips. She feels him chuckling against her cunt because of her reaction, the <em>bastard.</em> But Rey doesn't have it in her to object, not when he does it again, alternating between sucking her clit and then licking her slowly, like he wants to savor her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“God, you're so <em>good</em> at this,” Rey murmurs, involuntarily canting her hips forward his mouth, unable to resist chasing the high he'll soon give her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You think so?” he asks and she moans her assent, closing her eyes and focusing on the filthy things his mouth is doing to her. His nose bumps on her clit as he circles her entrance with one finger before he slips it inside. She wasn't ready for the intrusion, gasping loudly when he adds another one and starts thrusting in and out at a fast pace. “<em>Fuck</em>, you're so <em>tight</em>. How am I even going to fit, Rey?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey doesn't know. She only knows how the combination of his mouth, fingers and his filthy words is doing <em>something </em>to her, building an orgasm so strong she thinks she might never recover from it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Gotta stretch out this pretty pussy, get you ready to take me or I won’t fit inside.” He grinds his fingers even deeper inside her, touching a place no one ever did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She gasps, the pressure building inside her belly, her body tingling from head to toe. “<em>Oh my god, </em>I—Ben, <em>please, </em>I'm gonna—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He gives a harder suck on her clit, and suddenly she's coming with a shout, her whole body shaking. Ben continues to curl his fingers inside her in heavy thrusts and swirl his tongue around her clit and, <em>god,</em> she’s coming again, her mind whiting out as the pleasure borders on overwhelming, her hips lifting off the bed, her chest heaving. A wail comes out of her mouth when she realizes he’s still licking her cunt. Rey’s hand reaches down to tug at his hair, shoving his head away from her. Ben chuckles but stops, dropping a kiss on her inner thigh, leaving the wetness she left on his chin there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It takes a few minutes for Rey’s breath to come back to normal, her body numb and pliant after two mind-blowing orgasms. She wonders if it’s gonna be like that all weekend, if he’s gonna wreck her completely and ruin her for anyone else after him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s an alarming thought—one she shoves away immediately, because she knows what this is. After all, it was <em>her</em> idea and her own terms. Rey thinks it’s just a hormonal reaction to what just happened. A post-haze afterthought that she’ll happily store away in the deep, dark corners of her mind. And it’s not like she’s gonna actually miss him or anything. Yeah, the mere idea of that happening at all is so absurd it makes her want to laugh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But she doesn’t, because suddenly Ben is climbing up her body until he’s level with her mouth. He kisses her hard, his tongue delving in instantly as she parts her mouth for him—and it makes something inside her chest swells when she thinks how her responses to him have been given so instinctively—, she feels her taste on his tongue and sighs into the kiss.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Need a minute to recover?” he asks, all smug and proud, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he continues to give her open-mouthed and yet soft, slow kisses.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey feels a bit dizzy by the way he's acting with her right now, the same warm feeling blooming inside her chest again, only now it seems bigger and stronger, and she feels it slowly getting out of her control, like something that she didn't even know she had to grasp and now that it's finally out of reach, she's acknowledging it. When he finally breaks the kiss, she gazes up at him—beautiful dark, hungry eyes gazing back at her—and she swallows hard. She ignores it all: how his touch and the way he looks at her makes her shiver, how she's been overthinking everything that's happened ever since their lips touched, how she's been already wondering how she's going to pretend nothing happened when he hasn't even been inside her yet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She puts on a fake smile—she hopes he won't recognize it, but then again, why would he? It's not like he pays <em>attention </em>to her, anyway—and says, “Do you really think this is enough for me to need a moment to recover?” He chuckles. Knowing this is something that is gonna push his buttons, she adds, “If I recall, you said you were going to fuck me so hard I wouldn't be able to walk for a week.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He huffs, a hand coming to her nape, tugging slightly at her hair there. “Watch your mouth, <em>brat</em>. I don't think you can take another spanking.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey moans, loving the way he’s pulling at her hair. “I can take anything.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you sure?” he asks, a glint of concern with his voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” she replies. She nibbles on his bottom lip lightly before saying, “Just fuck me, Ben. You can be rough. I want you to.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looks at her for a moment and nods. And then he rasps out in his deep voice: “Get on your hands and knees and hold the headboard for support.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Soon he climbs off of her, and she does as he says, a thrill running through her veins for being so eager and ready to comply. She looks at him over her shoulder, watching him take his shoes, pants and boxer briefs off, and soon he’s gloriously naked, his hand pumping his cock slowly as he kneels on the bed, mattress dipping under his weight. Rey bites her lip at the sight of him advancing towards her and turns her head to stare at the headboard again, hands clutching it tight for support, anticipation for what's about to happen making her heart beat wildly inside her chest. His hands are on her body in a matter of seconds, a firm, possessive grip on her waist.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One of his hands leaves her waist to pinch her ass, then makes its way down to her cunt, a finger prodding at her entrance. “Such a <em>tight</em> little pussy. Are you really sure about this?” he asks, his finger going in and out of her slowly. “We can stop if you want.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey groans, impatient and shakes her head. “Fuck me, <em>please,” </em>she begs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He withdraws his finger and Rey whines at the loss for a <em>second</em> before he finally presses inside her—one swift, hard thrust and he's all the way to the hilt—, it feels like he's knocked the breath out of her lungs. She's glad he took his time preparing her for him, stretching her out, because she feels full to bursting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Holy fuck, oh my god—”</em> she whimpers, wiggling her hips a bit just to realize she has no more <em>room</em> for him. <em>Damn</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>“Jesus fucking Christ, </em>Rey,” he growls.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey hears his labored breaths and notices he's as affected by all of this as she is, a rush of arousal flowing through her body. She takes a deep breath, adjusting herself to him, and she wiggles her hips again, the movement causing him to slip out of her a little, so wet she is.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Fuck, </em>Rey, are you getting wetter because I'm inside you?” he grits out, moving his entire length inside her again, drawing a moan out of her. “Is that it? You like my big cock on your little pussy?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He snaps his hips against her ass in rough thrusts, just like she asked him to, and Rey can't help but take and take and take, feeling another orgasm reaching, <em>so close—</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Answer me, brat,” he commands. Slamming in and out of her again, he asks, “Do you like my cock?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Y-yes,</em> so <em>big</em>, <em>fuck—</em>” she cries out, holding onto the headboard for dear life. “<em>Please</em> don't stop.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Such a <em>good girl</em>, learning her lesson, so <em>perfect</em> for taking me so well, letting me fuck her hard like this,” he tells her, his deep voice combined with his praises adding to the intense pleasure ready to burst out of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben sneaks one hand between her legs, tips of his fingers rubbing her clit in circles in tandem with his thrusts until she's writhing from the stimulation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I feel your cunt clenching around me,” he rasps. “Are you close, Rey? Will you be a good girl and come on my cock?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben pulls out of her only to slam back again, her body moving forward with the force of his thrust and she <em>squeaks</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Come on, Rey,” he urges her. “You can come.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey is way past the point of being embarrassed because it’s his <em>permission</em> that sets her off, coming with a high-pitched scream, thighs shaking, eyes squeezed shut, chest heaving in heavy breaths.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She's still shuddering when he tosses her over so easily, her body all loose and pliant after three orgasms in a row. Rey knows he hasn't come yet and there's a part of her that's weirdly eager for that—for him to fill her up, all hot and wet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben wastes no time to do what he really wants—he bends her knees up to her chest, leaving her spread open and ready for him to push inside again, and <em>oh</em>, like this she can gaze up at him while he’s ramming in and out so hard she can’t help but gasp and gasp, mouth hanging open as she looks at his face and watches the way his brows furrowed in concentration, and the way his cheeks are flushed in a pretty shade of pink, watches a bead of sweat trail down his temple and his eyes are staring back at her, and why did she ever think—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Gonna fill your hot, tight pussy,” he grunts. “Gonna cum so much inside you you'll feel it leaking out of your pussy for days.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben thrusts one more time and then goes absolutely still, his cock twitching inside her, his mouth finding hers in a bruising kiss as he spills inside, all hot and wet. Rey moans into the kiss, arms looping around his neck, legs locking around his waist, trapping him there, not letting him move outside of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her heart reverberates against her ribcage, loud and fast like it's running a marathon, eager to get to the finish line—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben breaks the kiss.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Glares down at her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey notices his eyes are hazel, just like hers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just like that, in the blink of an eye, everything she ever felt about Ben Solo changes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It feels like her heart finally reached the finish line.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Shit.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Are you hungry?”</p><p> </p><p>Ben’s voice takes her out of her reverie. She’s lying by his side on her bed, a good amount of distance between them as if they hadn’t just fucked and his cum wasn’t leaking out of her right now. Rey turns her head to look at him and her heart does something stupid she had only read on books before. <em>God</em>, what the fuck is going on? It's so unlike her to react like that to sex, and the fact she’s reacting like this—thinking about his eyes, his muscled chest and how much she wants to just… scoot over a little and lay there, and how much she wants him to fuck her again and again and again, more than just one weekend.</p><p> </p><p><em>Pathetic,</em> she hears inside her head the voice of her first boyfriend, the first man she ever slept with. <em>You're too needy, too much to handle.</em></p><p> </p><p><em>Stop looking for ways to fill the emptiness inside yourself in me, </em>another voice. The second boyfriend? The third?</p><p> </p><p>She can't even remember. There were too many heartaches, each one different but exactly the same, because the only common denominator in all these situations was: <em>her</em>. She was the one who needed to be fixed.</p><p> </p><p>“Rey?”</p><p> </p><p>Rey is too scared to turn around and look at him. There's a lump in her throat, tears pricking at her eyes. If she turns around, he'll see <em>that </em>and he will think of her as pathetic, and she cannot stand that. There was a time, before all of this started, that she didn't care about his opinion of her. Now, there's a whirlwind of emotions inside her—and she can't exactly take some time to reassess her feelings at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>The most responsible thing to do would tell him to go. They agreed on a weekend, but she's sure he wouldn't mind if he was asked to leave. They would go on to live their lives as if nothing happened. But she doesn't want to be responsible, even though her feelings are leading through a treacherous path—she had a taste of what's like to have sex with him, to be with someone who cares about pleasuring her, and she wants <em>more</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you hungry?” he repeats.</p><p> </p><p>Before she can even answer, though, he moves on top of her, careful to sustain his weight on his forearms. He studies her face, and she remembers that occasion in the office back before she propositioned him and he could tell she was crying. Did he really pay attention to her, when she wasn't looking? How could he have known, when she always tried her damned hardest to conceal whatever she felt? When not even her best friends and her grandfather, the people she loved the most in life, could tell when she was hurting?</p><p> </p><p>Rey once thought she was someone Ben begrudgingly acknowledged, because she came in and turned his world upside down, made him work beside her and share what previously was his future position at the company after his mother retired. She could understand why he was reluctant towards her, but there was a coldness to the way he acted that felt so much like hatred.</p><p> </p><p>Was it really hatred, though? She isn’t so sure now.</p><p> </p><p>But then again, she might as well be purposefully seeing things where they don't exist as a way of giving a reason to how her feelings changed in such a short span of time. And she doesn't even know how to name these feelings yet.</p><p> </p><p>Once again, his voice filled with worry takes her out of the trance. “Rey? Did I hurt you? Is that why you're crying?”</p><p> </p><p>She looks at him, shakes her head. “No,” she lies, a fake smile on her face. “I’m fine.”</p><p> </p><p>He glances at her like he's not believing her, and makes way to stride aside, but Rey reacts faster and puts her thighs around his waist.</p><p> </p><p>“Rey,” he says and opens her mouth to argue, but ultimately decides not to and sighs.</p><p> </p><p>Her hands rise up to his chest, her fingers trailing up and down to his collarbone, delighting herself in the way he shivers at her touch. She gazes up at him and tries to change the subject. “Are we allowed to cuddle?” she asks and apparently it seems she doesn’t have a filter anymore. She winces, feeling stupid and clingy and more than a little embarrassed.</p><p> </p><p>“We can do whatever you want, Rey,” he answers, holding her gaze steady.</p><p> </p><p>She ignores the way his gaze makes her stomach flutter and retorts cheekily, “I thought we would do whatever <em>you </em>wanted.”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” he replies immediately. “What <em>you </em>want matters, too.”</p><p> </p><p>Rey nods. “Okay, then I want you to stay.” Ben’s eyes bore into hers, like they have a secret of their own, a puzzle she can't solve at all. Suddenly, she feels entirely too vulnerable, like she's exposing more than her body to him. Maybe he's decided she's asking too much of a hookup, one that already started on such a weird note. Afraid of sounding too desperately needy, especially after the cuddling comment, she adds, “The weekend, I mean. Like we'd agreed on.”</p><p> </p><p>“The weekend,” Ben repeats, voice tight all of a sudden. “Right. Of course.”</p><p> </p><p>When his eyes stray from hers, Rey feels like she's said the wrong thing, and before she can think it through, she grabs his chin towards her and kisses him. For a moment, when he doesn’t respond to her kiss instantly, she panics. But then his tongue darts out to lick her bottom lip, and she opens her mouth for him, his tongue pushing in and sliding against hers slowly. He's such a great kisser, she thinks. He's great at… <em>so many things</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Ben puts a hand under her back, bringing her closer. He rolls them over easily, letting her lay on top of him. <em>So much </em>for cuddling. But it only adds fuel to the fire burning inside her now and she doesn't want to stop kissing him. She kisses him hungrily, greedily, finding ways to make him sigh and moan into her mouth to her amusement. She chuckles into his kisses, delighted by his responsiveness. They kiss for a while, her hands intertwined at his hair and his roaming up and down her back. It's <em>nice</em> and <em>quiet</em>, and Rey’s mind let go of her worries and is reduced to only thoughts of him: his lips against hers; his soft skin against hers; his warm touch on her body.</p><p> </p><p>Thinking back to when they first got to her house, Rey realizes she was right when she thought she definitely could spend hours making out with him, like a horny teenager. And she would be glad to do <em>only</em> <em>that</em> for now, if it weren't for his growing erection nudging against her stomach. Ben groans when Rey breaks the kiss, and she nibbles on his bottom lip slightly, a sly grin on her face. “I can't believe you're hard already,” she tells him, unable to hide her shock. “I thought it would take hours, since you're so <em>old.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>He huffs, annoyed, and pinches her ass, making her giggle. “I feel like another spanking is in order.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah,” she says, shifting her body slightly, her hand coming down to grip his shaft. “Maybe later? I've got other plans right now.”</p><p> </p><p>“And what are those, Rey?” he asks, his eyes following the path her hands work his cock up and down.</p><p> </p><p>Rey’s thumb smears the precome leaking from his top down onto his length. She loves the velvety feeling of his cock on her hands, loves how he's so big and thick and that she can barely wrap her fingers around him. “You'll see,” she replies, rubbing his cockhead on her clit, making them both groan in unison. She does it a few times, every single one just an excuse for her to look at him squeezing his eyes shut, cursing under his breath, gripping the sheets. She likes it, how he's letting her take control for a moment, even though minutes ago she wanted just the opposite.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe she thinks by doing that, she'll forget how she felt when he gazed at her before he came inside her. Rey shakes her head, as if like that she can shove away thoughts of him that aren't related to how much she wants him to keep fucking her, that aren't related to this moment, to this weekend and nothing else.</p><p> </p><p>“Wanna blow you,” she tells him, trying her best to focus on the moment, leisurely stroking his cock. “Want you to cum inside my mouth.”</p><p> </p><p>“Now?” he asks in a strained voice, brows furrowed, mouth open as he looks at her hands.</p><p> </p><p>Rey notices the effort he’s making to not lose all coherent thoughts because of <em>her</em>, because of what she’s doing to him. It’s a thrilling feeling running through her veins—knowing that she’s capable of making him come undone with just her touch, too. Perhaps she's finally letting herself go and letting her own inhibitions come down. She shakes her head, unable to hide her amusement, a grin forming at the corner of her lips as she looks at him. “Now I want you to fill my pussy again.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>, Rey, this will be over too soon if you keep saying things like that,” he growls.</p><p> </p><p>She chuckles despite herself. She never thought she would find funny listening to Ben speak filth to her.</p><p> </p><p>It's <em>oh</em> so easy to lift herself and put her thighs on either side of his hips and straddle him. It's <em>oh</em> easy to continue to tease him with her hands, his groans and hisses reverberating through the room. Like this, she can adjust herself to him however she wants to. She sinks onto his length slowly, inch by inch, feeling the drag of his thick, hard cock hitting all the right spots in her inner walls, his groans and her moans mixing together, sounding like music to her ears. It’s such a tight fit once she’s fully impaled on his cock.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh <em>fuck</em>, you’re so big,” she hisses. “It’s like you’re splitting me in half.”</p><p> </p><p>Ben grunts at her words, his hands coming up to grip her waist. <em>Hard</em>. It’s about to leave bruises later, but Rey finds she doesn’t care that much. “Rey, <em>fuck</em>, you feel so fucking<em> good</em>, I’m not gonna last—”</p><p> </p><p>“No, don’t cum yet,” she tells him, lifting her hips and slowly sinking down on him again, drawing out a loud moan out of her. “<em>Please</em>, Ben?” she asks as she does it again, only harder and faster this time. “Don’t cum yet.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jesus, <em>fuck</em>, okay—what do you need?” he asks. He lifts his body to meet hers, his mouth closing on one taut nipple to suck hard while one of his hands sneaks between her legs to thumb at her clit.</p><p> </p><p>It’s suddenly too much and not enough at the same time, and Rey feels <em>so close</em> to another amazing orgasm, she just needs—</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me what you need, Rey,” he says like he’s reading her mind.</p><p> </p><p>Rey stills her hips for a moment and looks at him. Sitting on his lap like this, full of his cock and his mouth and his fingers, she doesn’t know what <em>else </em>she needs to come. Without meaning to, she remembers how her stomach fluttered and how her heart beat faster when he looked at her before he came. Before she loses the courage, she says in a shaky voice, “Just—just keep looking at me.”</p><p> </p><p>When he nods, his eyes dark and hungry, she pretends the flush on her cheeks is because she’s riding his cock, not because she asked him something so silly. She moves her hips again and his snap against her own, and he pressures his thumb on her clit, a whimper escaping her lips. “Like that—<em>god</em>, <em>yes</em>, just like that, Ben.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you close?” he asks. His other hand presses on her waist. “You’re doing so good, Rey, such a <em>good girl</em>, taking me so well in this tight, hot pussy—”</p><p> </p><p>“Ben,” she whines, squeezing her eyes shut, forgetting what she asked of him.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” his hand reaches to her face. “Open your eyes, look at me.”</p><p> </p><p>She opens her eyes, finding his gazing back at hers with such intensity she almost looks away.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re more than a good girl,” he croons, picking the pace of his hips slamming against hers. She’s so <em>close</em>— “You’re fucking <em>amazing</em>, Rey.”</p><p> </p><p>And suddenly she’s coming, mouth open in a silent cry, her chest heaving as Ben’s words and his fiery gaze makes her unravel in a strong orgasm. She doesn’t halt her hips, though, bouncing faster on his cock, her thighs burning with the exertion. She doesn’t care about any of that, she wants to see <em>him</em> come apart, too.</p><p> </p><p>“Rey, I’m gonna—”</p><p> </p><p>Rey wraps her arms around his neck, her mouth sucking a bruise at the soft spot where his neck meets his shoulders. She feels his cock twitching inside her, hears his pants on her ear. “Come on, you can cum now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me you want me to fill you up,” he grunts. “Tell me you want my cum inside you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, <em>please</em>, do it, Ben—”</p><p> </p><p>Their hips meet in a rough thrust, and he groans loud when he comes—spilling warm inside her. Ben doesn’t let go of her as they wait for their breath to come back to normal. Instead, he runs his hands on her back, and she sighs dreamily, happy, sated, her body numb, her mind in a daze. He’s still inside her when he leans down on the bed, taking her with him, holding his arms around her waist. She just knows it’s <em>oh</em> so easy to stay lying there on his chest and close her eyes for a while.</p><p> </p><p>“We should take a shower,” she says drowsily. “<em>Or </em>you should carry me to the bathtub and give me a bath.”</p><p> </p><p>He chuckles softly. “Okay. Now?”</p><p> </p><p>She shakes her head. “In a minute. Just let me rest a bit.”</p><p> </p><p>“Have I finally worn you down?” he asks, amusement in his voice.</p><p> </p><p>If she wasn't so tired, she'd scoff and deny it. Or maybe just hit him. Instead, she replies, eyes still closed, “Yes. I'm gonna need sustenance to get me through the weekend.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine, I'll provide it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ugh, such a manly thing to say,” she says, feigning annoyance. “Are you going to talk about your powerful and desirable manhood now?”</p><p> </p><p>“My powerful and desirable manhood is still inside you,” he counters.</p><p> </p><p>Rey says nothing to that, and when Ben makes motion to move, she puts a hand on his arm. “No, not yet.”</p><p> </p><p>He sighs. “Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>His hands come back to her back, fingers tracing patterns on her skin. She nuzzles into him, his body’s warmth enveloping her like a soft embrace. She feels herself having a hard time staying awake. She doesn’t want to let him go and get up to take a shower.</p><p> </p><p>His deep voice is the last thing she remembers hearing before falling into a deep slumber.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>78. Rey forgot to tell her friends she was spending the weekend with Ben and they’re worried about her whereabouts. </b>
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  <b>She purposefully turned off her phone.</b>
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  <b>79. Meanwhile, Ben forgot a really important dinner with his parents, his cousin and Kaydel. </b>
</p><p>
  <b>And Kaydel, drunk af, spills his secrets.</b>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>The sunlight streaming through the curtains wakes Rey with a start. She realizes the bed is empty, and the lack of Ben’s body warmth holding hers brings an uneasiness at the pit of her stomach. For a moment, she panics, thinking he left as soon as the sun came up. She feels a pang of unease and it's not long before tears well up her eyes. In a rational sense, she knows it's absurd to react like that. It's <em>Ben. </em>It's just a hookup. Yet, Rey doesn't know how to stop the flood of memories from her childhood and the dreadful sense of abandonment she always inevitably feels. Why is it so hard to let go of the memories that damaged her so deeply? And why does she always try to change that in the most unfulfilling ways?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Perhaps her exes were right about her. Maybe she <em>is </em>broken beyond repair, damaged to the point she's bound to repeat her mistakes in search of something she doesn't even know she'll ever get. To be throwing herself at men who will never soothe the ache in her heart, who will never be the key to the belonging she craves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Too many intrusive thoughts and digging up old wounds for such an early Saturday morning. Rey tells herself it’s fine if Ben left, even if they agreed to fuck the whole weekend. It’s better this way because now she’s allowed to ignore the terrifying feelings that bloomed in her chest last night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Out of sight, out of mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She stretches in her bed slowly—ignoring the soreness and stickiness between her thighs—and decides she’ll spend the rest of the weekend with her grandfather. It’s been a while since she's visited him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At that moment, she hears some noise downstairs and someone cusses—Ben’s voice, unquestionably. Her heart beats frantically inside her chest, and Rey gets up off the bed immediately, her feet padding through the room to her closet to pick up a robe and put on. Only now can she see Ben gathered their clothes from the floor, and that the bag with clothes he brought with him yesterday is now dropped on her closet’s floor. Looking at herself in the mirror, she rubs the sleep off her eyes with the back of her hand, fixes her disheveled hair and ties the robe she put on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe she should just take a shower first. <em>Ugh</em>, she thinks, because it would take too long, and she doesn’t want to leave him waiting. There’s also a teeny tiny part of her that wants him to take her up on the promise of taking a shower together. What does that say about her resolve to avoid thinking about certain <em>feelings?</em> Rey pretends she doesn’t know.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But it’s worrying—how quickly she walks out of her bedroom and makes her way towards the stairs, and each quiet step taken is a contrast to the crescendo of her rapidly beating heart. When she reaches the last step, she is welcomed with the smell of bacon, and as she turns to the kitchen, she sees him there in front of the oven—wearing boxer briefs and a black t-shirt, and she's sad he's wearing more clothes than she is—flipping a pancake and then putting it on a plate on the counter. She watches him for a moment, unsure of what to do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There's an extreme weirdness to the scene at hand: the fact that Ben is there cooking her breakfast after fucking her senseless last night. In truth, the weirdness of it all is a bit overwhelming, and once again Rey thinks about how hard it's gonna be to pretend they didn't do anything they've done last night, pretend they both hadn't seen each other naked and whispered filthy things at each other. She wonders if the same thoughts crossed <em>his </em>mind. Will it be difficult for him to let go of what happened? Or after he’s out the door on Sunday, will everything be forgotten in the blink of an eye? Like she thought earlier: out of sight, out of mind?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey admits the second option hurts her more than she would like to, which can only mean she's in way too deep at this point.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As if she needed an excuse to not let her thoughts go into a wayward spiral, her stomach growls. The sound makes him turn and look at her. She glances at his bright hazel eyes, and Rey remembers that she thought he wasn't her type when she went looking for him at the office and found him preparing his stupid coffee, before confessing she wanted him to fuck her. Looking at him standing in the kitchen she never uses, sleep still clouding his eyes while he cooks her breakfast, she believes she'd be crazy if she continued to think like that. He's so <em>completely </em>her type it makes her feel silly for ever indulging in this strange dynamic they have—maybe if she had put a bit of effort, he wouldn't hate her, which in turn wouldn't make her spend the past year hating him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Though at the moment she's not entirely sure she ever hated him at all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Isn't it unnerving how such a simple task—just him taking his time to cook her breakfast—makes all her convictions crumble? Just like <em>that</em>?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She's suddenly overcome with the impulse to hug him. Just cross the steps between them and hug him. She realizes they've never done that. Not even once. And she would love to be hugged by him. It would definitely show how needy she is to him—and would ruin everything, once again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey doesn't want to ruin anything, so she doesn't do any of that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Instead, she walks to the other side of the counter—she feels safer against her own vulnerable urges with it separating them—and eyes the amount of food he cooked on top of it: omelettes, scrambled eggs, sausages, bacon, hash browns, french toast, pancakes, orange juice, and coffee. Rey can't help but gape at it. She doesn't remember the last time she ate breakfast at home—and even worse, doesn't remember the last time that someone <em>made</em> it for her, let alone someone who fucked her the night before. She sits on a one of the stools under the counter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wow,” she says and glances up at him. “No fruit?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She's trying to be funny to pretend she isn't embarrassed and horny—did she seriously get <em>wet</em> because someone cooked her breakfast, Jesus—, but Ben takes it seriously, one hand running nervously through his hair, the tip of his ears turning red. <em>Adorable</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, um—I didn't know what kind of fruit you like, so that's why—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey interrupts him. “I’m just kidding.” She smiles. “This is amazing. I didn't even know I had things in the fridge.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don't,” he replies. “I went out and bought the ingredients.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wearing this?” she asks playfully and points to his briefs, her eyebrows arching up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, Rey,” he sighs, but there's no bitterness in his voice. “I promised to provide you with sustenance. Eat.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, sir,” she replies. She puts a pancake on a plate and pours coffee on a mug as Ben watches her do it. She peers up at him and asks, “Aren’t you going to eat?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ah, I have plans,” he responds, his eyes drifting to her cleavage.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her cheeks heat up, the wetness between her legs growing just at his innuendo.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What are those plans, Ben?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’ll see.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> <strong>$$$</strong> </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben knows he might have gone overboard with the breakfast. It's just—he always thought about how it would be if he had the chance to sleep with her. Granted, it wasn't how he’d dreamed of—in those, Rey always accepted his feelings, and they wouldn't have to strictly fuck for just a weekend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All his lonely nights spent at his empty, solitary apartment and in the darkness of his bedroom, Ben dared to dream about being brave enough to confess that he's been helplessly in love with Rey ever since he first laid eyes on her years ago at a casual dinner they had at his parents house with her and Ben Kenobi. His best friend thinks it’s just a crush and that he’s been pining over her for just a year, but it’s been way longer than that. He didn't even believe something like that could happen, but one look at Rey and her bright, wide smile, and he was doomed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They became acquaintances after that, casually running into each other in the city, in parties or events they were obliged to attend, with few words exchanged between them, but Ben never managed to move past the insecurity that still tormented him from his teenage years—too many rejections from girls who belittled him for his appearance; and then, too many fuck-ups caused by the anger that came from that. So he admired her from afar; and let her slip away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And then her grandfather saved his family business, merging both publishing companies in one, and there was a time that he thought it was his chance to get to know her better. But Rey hated him from her first day working closely with him, and it hurt not knowing why, so he just closed off, avoided her as best as he could, which caused her to get even more upset with him, making them clash and argue more often than not.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He spent the past year like that. And he recognizes he could have done more to change their dynamic—just a bit of effort on his part, and maybe things wouldn't be like that. If he could go back in time and change everything, erase anything he could have done to make her hate him so much, he would.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even though he kept his distance as much as he could, he still paid attention to her routine—she rarely brought food from home, always choosing to leave the office to have lunch. It was hard to know what she likes to eat because of that, but apparently cooking an excessive amount of food was a good choice. Seeing her devour what he cooked makes him feel better about leaving tomorrow and being asked to pretend that nothing has happened.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“God, this is so good,” she says, bringing a mouthful of omelette to her mouth. “I can't believe this is, like, the first time this kitchen has been used this year.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait, really?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah,” she nods. Takes a sip of coffee. “How did you learn how to cook, by the way?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“With my grandmother,” he replies. Putting his hands on the countertop and staring at her, he asks, “What do you eat if you never use the kitchen?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I order a lot of take-out. Also, sometimes Rosie and Poe bring food their parents made for me and it takes me weeks to finish it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can cook for you,” he says as nonchalantly as possible, his eyes averting from hers for a moment. “I mean, drop some food. If you'd like.” She looks at him in a way he doesn't know how to decipher. Is she repulsed by this idea? Annoyed? Does she think he's doing that because he wants to spend more time with her outside of work? He continues, “Because I am always cooking. A lot of food. And experimenting with new recipes that sometimes go to waste, so maybe if you want—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah,” she tells him, a faint blush on her cheeks. “That would be nice, actually. Thanks.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No problem,” he mumbles politely.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They stay silent for a while. Ben feels a wave of insecurity creeping back in again, and fearing he might have made things awkward, he decides to fight it the only way he knows how, the only way that he has a little of control on the situation—which makes it equal parts extremely arousing and terrifying, the fact that <em>Rey</em> allowed him to take control and that he won't be able to do it anymore after tomorrow—, and asks, voice in a clear command, “Are you finished eating?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey’s eyes darken and her breath hitches. Ben noticed that she's into receiving orders just as much as he likes giving them. He feels himself getting hard already.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” she replies, breathless, biting her lip, adjusting herself at the stool she's sitting on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben bets she's soaking wet right now, and he had already planned to eat her out after breakfast, but not right <em>there</em> in the kitchen. He planned on taking her back upstairs and having his way with her until she became a quivering, writhing mess under him. At the moment, the thought of laying her down on the counter and putting his mouth on her tight, wet pussy and licking her until she gushes all over his face is so enticing he can't fight against it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben quickly collects all the food he's made, carefully putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and saving up the ones Rey didn't eat for later. He can feel her eyes on him, watching him move around the kitchen, but she remains silent until he finishes the task.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once he's done, Ben wastes no time: he strolls to where Rey’s sitting, standing between her legs, hovering over her. His hand tilts her chin upward, her eyes boring into his. His other hand drops to her waist, gripping her lightly through her robe, his thumb caresses her cheek, and she leans into his touch instinctively—he <em>almost</em> loses his cool and tells her he loves her right then and there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Almost.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Instead, he says, “I want to take my time with you right now. Wanna lay you down on this counter and eat your pretty little pussy until you become a mess under my mouth, until you drip all over my face.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey fidgets on the seat. Her breath quickens, but she holds his gaze steadily.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Will you let me, Rey? Make you cum so hard you won't be able to walk after?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She doesn't reply, but it's not hard to see how much she wants it—it's all in her pretty hazel eyes, now dark with hungriness. For <em>him</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>He</em> feels almost dizzy because of that. Afraid of every emotion that's been burning up inside him. Because of how intense his feelings for her are—and how much he wants to please and touch and praise her. Make her come undone over and over again—with his fingers, with his mouth, with his cock. He wants to rub his cock all over her and make a mess, make her dirty just so he can clean her up later. Mark her as his.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He's grateful she’s oblivious to the thoughts ruminating in his mind right now—<em>anyone</em> would be scared of his consuming passion. Still, knowing Rey wants this as much as he does—even if just for a weekend—makes him feel intoxicated. He was a starved man and now that he's had a taste of it—of <em>her</em>—he can't help but wish to drown in it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To drown in <em>her.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Say it,” Ben tells her. “Say you'll let me do whatever I want with you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She already said that to him. Last night. And so far, she was willing to give him whatever he wanted. And of course, he would always respect her boundaries—but this: these moments he had with her will keep him going when all of this was over. It will be the only thing left: bits and pieces of Rey—her moans and sighs, the way her nose scrunches up and her mouth pries open when she comes, the way her skin is soft and warm against his, the way she shudders when he pushes inside, and how her eyes gleam when he tells how much of a <em>good girl</em> she is—he'll compile and guard in the deepest, safest place on his mind, for him to revisit whenever he misses her. Because of course he will.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He's holding her at the moment and he already misses her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can do whatever you want, Ben,” she breathes out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's what he wanted to hear, and yet her words seem to have a magical hold on him—he aches with a desperate need to be closer to her, to make her <em>his</em>, <em>just for a little while</em>. He leans down to claim her mouth in a searing kiss, his tongue pushing in and hers welcoming him instantly. He feels more than a little desperate about it—thoughts of tomorrow and having to pretend he didn't have her in so many ways after—muddling his mind as his mouth slides to her jaw and then to her neck, to nip at the sensitive spot where it meets her shoulder, breathy little sighs coming out of her mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ben,” she whimpers. “<em>Please</em>.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's all he's got to hear to tear himself away from her—albeit reluctantly—because the urgent need in her voice doesn't lie, and he loves to give her what she needs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His hand goes from her waist to her midriff, pulling the tie of her robe open, revealing a freckled collarbone, the prettiest little tits with rosy, taut nipples and a wet little pussy—glistening wet for him. She opens her legs instinctively when his hand roams on her thigh, maybe just as desperate to be touched as he's desperate to touch her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is this for me?” he asks hoarsely, his fingers skimming lightly through her labia, avoiding touching where he knows she needs it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” Rey replies breathlessly, her hips buckling against his hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben withdraws his hand, palming his aching cock through his boxer briefs for a moment before he effortlessly lifts her up—she’s so <em>small</em> sometimes he thinks he's gonna lose his goddamn mind—from the stool and settling her on top of the counter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey lies back down without him even telling her to do so.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Good girl</em>,” he croons.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Please</em>,” she begs again, her hands coming up to touch her tits with wild abandon.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” he chuckles. “I like to see you beg.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He spreads her legs wider, bending her knees up, his head coming dangerously closer to where he wants to be. He drops a soft kiss to her inner thigh and murmurs, “We can stop if it becomes too much for you. Okay, Rey? Just tell me to stop and I will.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey nods her head furiously. “No stopping,” she whines. She cants her hips up, closer to his mouth. “<em>Please</em>, Ben? Lick my pussy, <em>please</em>, I need your mouth—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, darling, anything for you,” he blurts out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey stops wriggling under his hands at his words, and before she has the chance to look down at him and ask what he means and because he's also a coward, he closes his mouth on her clit, sucking it lightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey groans, her hair coming down to tug at his hair. He gives her cunt a few tentative licks—slow and relaxed. He wants to take his time tasting her, making her repeatedly get close to the edge and backing down until she's begging for him to let her come. Ben loves it when she begs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When he presses his tongue inside her opening, he feels <em>himself </em>there, his taste mixed with hers. He groans against her cunt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Fuck, </em>Rey, you still taste like me, holy fucking shit—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben feels fully out of control now, the fact that she's leaking and tasting like him making him feel intoxicated. His nose bumps on her clit as he continues to lap his tongue at her, and Rey is all squirms and moans. He can feel her cunt clenching, he knows she's close, and although he wanted to make it last longer and edge her a little bit, he doesn't want that anymore. Ben just wants to make her scream his name every time he brings her to an orgasm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He moves his mouth up, sucking her clit harder and nudging a finger inside her cunt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Holy—<em>fuck</em>, I'm gonna—” she wails, hips moving frantically against his face. Ben pumps his finger harder whilst sucking at her clit and she <em>gasps</em> loudly before coming with a sharp cry.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He works her through it, enjoying how she trembles and shakes above him, she whines and tugs at his hair, pressing his face to her cunt like it's her lifeline, and then she's coming <em>again</em>, soft cries and moans coming out of her mouth. It's the best experience he's had so far—all the other women he gave head doesn't compare to Rey. He loves it how she lets go completely and uses him for her pleasure.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben stops for a moment, taking a deep breath and Rey whines her complaint. He chuckles. “Can you give me more?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“More?” she asks, dazed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can you cum again?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” she replies instantly. And because she's <em>perfect </em>and such a fucking <em>good girl</em>, she adds, “<em>Please.”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben brings his mouth to her cunt again, licking all of her release, marveling at her taste. He nudges two fingers inside now, enjoying the way she gasps and whimpers, telling him how full he makes her feel.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You like how you're always so full of me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” she whimpers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His hard cock throbs inside his boxers, and he wants nothing more than to make her sit on it and bury himself so deep she’ll be able to feel him for days. Ben wants to fuck her hard and fast until she's a sobbing, shivering mess on top of him, her tight little cunt clenching around him while he fills her up with his cum.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Gonna stuff you full of my cock soon,” he promises. “But only if you cum again on my mouth. If you don't, I won't fuck you anymore.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He's <em>lying,</em> of course. But it's exactly what Rey needs to hear—her hand is tugging at his hair <em>hard</em> now, and he picks up on that quickly, licking her cunt thoroughly until she's jerking her hips again with the force of another orgasm. It's only then she begs for him to stop, because she can't take it anymore. Ben listens to her plea immediately, and she's still shaking when he rests his head on her thigh after.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a while, Ben notes her breathing has gone back to normal, and he lifts her head to gaze up at her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you okay?” he asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah,” she mumbles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you want to come back upstairs?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mmm, can’t move. Your fault.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben chuckles against her thigh, dropping a kiss there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you want me to carry you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She nods her assent.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben picks her up as easily as when he put her there—such a small little thing, his good girl—and Rey promptly locks her legs around his waist, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. He's still hard as a rock, and he wants nothing more than to make her come again around his cock, but he can't help but delight on this part—how she's so touchy and needy after sex. He finds he really likes it: taking care of her and giving her a sense of security, if nothing else, with his touches.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben makes his way out of the kitchen, his arms holding Rey tightly while his hands caresses her back as he slowly climbs upstairs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When he finally gets to her bedroom, he walks past her closet, going straight to her suite. He stops in front of the shower. “Do you want to take a shower?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey shakes her head, her hand traveling down past his stomach to palm his cock. “No.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Rey.</em>”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You said you’d stuff me full of your cock after,” she tells him. Her mouth nips at his earlobe and he groans. “Wanna feel you inside me, <em>please</em>.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben puts her down, finding her eyes staring up at him. He slides her robe off of her completely, leaving her standing naked in front of him in the middle of the suite. He turns her body around, making her face the mirror up the sink as he stands behind her. Ben loves the sight of her after sex: sweaty skin and flushed cheeks, disheveled hair, a glint in her eyes, her body limp and pliant for him to push in again, always welcoming his cock in such a tight fit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You want me to fuck you?” he asks. His hand comes up to her nape, tugging at her hair lightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey gasps.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben notices how her eyes darken at the sight of them in the mirror.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And in a minute, perhaps too long, he slips his boxers past his hips, freeing his cock that’s already leaking pre-cum at the tip and lines himself in her entrance.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>The moment Ben pushes into her cunt just the way she’s been starting to love—a hard push that makes him go all the way to the brim, making her feel so full—, Rey feels like the breath has been knocked out of her. It doesn’t hurt; he made her cum so much in such a short amount of time, he slides in easily, stretching her in the most delicious way, and it’s <em>amazing</em>, <em>perfect</em>, the<em> best</em> she’s ever had—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She can’t stop looking in the mirror, too, as she holds the ends of the white marble sink for dear life. She feels just as she sees herself in the mirror: utterly debauched, such a wild thing. He fucks into her roughly and fast, his hips slapping against her ass, and she takes it happily, wouldn’t want it any other way. His hand settles around her throat, so she can’t look away. Not that she would want that, not when he looks thoroughly wrecked just because he’s inside her, sweat beading at his temple and his luscious hair. His other hand touches her clit in lazy circles, and she can’t believe she’s already close to <em>another </em>orgasm, he’s gonna be the <em>death </em>of her—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Look at you,” he pants in her ear. “Such a good girl, always taking me so well.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey moans loudly at his praise, and she briefly wishes she could take a picture of them like that or have someone make a painting: Ben using her body for his pleasure, for her pleasure, <em>their </em>pleasure blending in the most lascivious way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She comes <em>again</em>, her thighs shaking as a loud cry comes out of her mouth. He huffs, his warm breath tickling her neck, and she knows he’s close by how erratic his thrusts are, he’s gonna spill inside, again, and she <em>wants</em> it—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That’s when she has an idea.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ben, stop,” she says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He halts his thrusts immediately, wide, alarmed eyes looking at her in the mirror.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did I hurt you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No,” she’s quick to ease his worries. His shoulders relax a bit, but he doesn’t resume his thrusts. “Just let me try something, please—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben slips out of her without saying anything, and she turns around and gets down on her knees. She hears his sharp intake of breath and can only wonder how it must be for him, for her to be like that in front of him, the thought making wetness pool at her center again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Want you to finish inside my mouth,” she tells him matter of factly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fuck.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey closes her hand around his shaft—she can’t even fit all of it in her hand, <em>fuck</em>—and she teases his cockhead with a swirl of her tongue, first, hearing him curse under his breath, his hand coming down to pull at her hair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t tease me, Rey,” he says shakily. “I need to cum.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s bewildering to her how completely <em>ruined </em>he looks—how her small mouth and tongue are doing <em>this</em> to a man that size. Still, Rey loves the way he feels against her tongue, taking her time as she adjusts his length inside her mouth, hollowing her cheeks as she works over him slowly. He buckles his hips to push up into her mouth involuntarily, a grunt escaping his lips. She tries to take him deep without gagging, moving faster now as she feels him twitch against her tongue.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She looks up at him, sucking his cock harder, and he grunts out, “<em>Fuck</em>, this is the best day of my life—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Something inside Rey swells at his praise. She pulls off of him and asks, “Really?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Noticing the blush in his cheeks, she thinks he’s perhaps a bit embarrassed by saying that, but he replies anyway, “Yes.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She smiles and closes her mouth around him again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s it, baby,” he croons, his hand petting her hair. “Make me cum inside your pretty mouth. Want you to swallow it all.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She closes her mouth around his cock and sucks it hard again, trying to go as deep as she can, her hands fondling his balls at the same time she sucks, and it’s not long before she feels him spurt warm against her tongue and then her throat, as she swallows his cum without spilling anything. She licks his cockhead one last time, cleaning the last remains of his cum that she missed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly, she’s being lifted off the ground, her feet dangling in the air as Ben holds her firmly and slants his lips over hers in a rough kiss, their tongues sliding together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He groans into her mouth. “Can feel my cum on your tongue, <em>fuck</em>, Rey—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Settling her on top of the sink, he kisses her harder. His kiss is <em>devouring, </em>consuming not only her lips, but her entire body, alighting her every nerve. She sighs and moans into his mouth, giving back as good as he gives, wishing with a pang in her chest that the weekend would never end, that they could stay like this, safe in this bubble for a long time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> <strong>$$$</strong> </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Despite being a bit embarrassed and feeling self-conscious, Rey offers for them to shower together after they made out for what it seemed like an hour. She helps him out of his t-shirt, throws it on the floor, and he pulls his boxers all the way down his thighs. Ben doesn't stop looking at her when he enters the shower, his eyes raking over her body as she turns the water on. Rey learned that she likes a lot of things Ben does to her, but perhaps his intense stares are her favorite thing, the way he can’t take his eyes off of her—even though it makes her stomach flutter and her toes curl.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey stands under the water, letting it wash over her whole body and Ben steps closer, doing the same. He helps her wash her hair, his hands caressing her scalp soothingly, almost like a massage, and she feels tingly all over. Next, he gently sweeps the loofah over her shoulders, arms, breasts, his deft hands quickly scrubbing every inch of her. It's intimate and not at all sexual, the way he's touching her. She doesn't remember ever doing this with her past boyfriends. And something tugs at her heart, all the feelings that bloomed in her chest last night coming up to the surface again, threatening to pour out of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When he finishes, Rey begins to do the same thing to him and to her utmost pleasure, he allows it. Her hands run through his sturdy chest, fingers tracing its whole expanse as the water keeps splashing above them. She scrubs and washes all of him, and she can't get over how strong and massive his body is. He's all sharp edges and tough muscles, pale skin and dark moles— so strikingly handsome it makes her want to say it aloud, to tell him how beautiful he is and it also makes her want to never stop staring at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey doesn't know how long they stay in the shower; probably longer than they should. When they come out, there are wrinkles on their fingers, which makes them laugh for a moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey puts on a robe and strolls to her closet, unsure of what to do. She doesn't know if she should put on clothes. It seems useless putting on clothes just for Ben to take them off again at some point. Although she needs to wait for a bit, before they do it again—she's <em>deliciously </em>sore<em>,</em> not used to having so much in such a short amount of time, especially not with someone so well-endowed as Ben.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She finally decides on an old, big sweatshirt from Coruscant U that covers her ass and no underwear—<em>just in case</em>. She walks out of the closet to give Ben some privacy so he could change, and when she sits down on her bed, she feels anxious all of a sudden.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey starts to believe she hasn’t thought this through. In hindsight, the idea of spending a weekend full of mind-blowing sex was <em>fantastic</em>, but she didn’t even think about what would happen <em>after</em> sex. What are they supposed to do now? She can already hear Rose’s voice inside her head, her annoyingly smug, knowing smile as if she’s saying “<em>I told you so</em>” without even saying anything at all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben emerges from the closet and Rey doesn’t even have the time to put on a fake smile on her face, his worried eyes staring at her as he asks, “What’s wrong?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hm?” she retorts, trying to buy some time. She doesn’t want to say aloud the thoughts spiraling inside her mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No,” she says. She combs her fingers through her wet hair, looking down at her lap to avoid his eyes. “I just am too lazy to dry my hair.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can braid it,” he offers. “If you want.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey lifts her head and finds his eyes looking at her. She holds his gaze steady, the same warm feeling from last night and before in the shower, unfurling inside her chest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>God, she’s so <em>screwed</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She realizes he’s waiting for an answer—standing in the middle of her room in just another black t-shirt and boxers, running his hands through his hair, seemingly just as nervous as she is.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you, that’d be great.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben nods and walks towards where she’s sitting, crawling on his knees and moving across the bed until he settles down behind her, putting his legs on either side of her hips. His hands rise up to her scalp, his fingers untangling her hair locks slowly, just like he did when he washed her hair earlier—and it's <em>so</em> relaxing, Rey squeezes her eyes shut, focusing on the way she feels as his hands work like magic.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a few minutes of silence, Rey asks, “Where did you learn how to braid?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You're gonna laugh at me,” he says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I promise I won't.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sighs, but tells her in a soft voice, “My mom used to braid my hair all the time when I was a kid,” he resumes the braiding. “Then, she taught me how to braid hers. It kinda became our thing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s <em>adorable</em>. Please tell me she has pictures.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“None that you'll ever see,” he tells her firmly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Leia loves me,” she retorts. And before she can even think about the meaning of her words, she adds, “I'm sure she would let me look at your baby pictures.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben stays his hands for a beat, then resumes his task as if he hasn't stopped and says, “I’m sure she would.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey’s heart skips a beat. There's a million thoughts running inside her mind now, each one more absurd than the other. She wants to turn her head around and look at him—and ask what he means. She knew she slipped up, and didn't really think about what she was saying until the words were out of her mouth, but why did he agree at all? Was it just because she knew how fond Leia is of her? <em>Or was it something else—</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>She doesn't turn around nor ask such a thing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Instead, she waits for him to finish braiding her hair, dismissing any thought or idea that could possibly ruin the rest of their weekend together. Just because she's been feeling… <em>different </em>doesn't mean he must feel it, too. And Rey all but knows it's the cowardly way to react to whatever it is she's feeling, because acknowledging it to herself is already too big of a step, and talking about it with <em>Ben</em>—the man she was supposed to have <em>hate </em>sex with, no less—is another thing entirely. One that draws at deeply old fears and wounds that she hid inside herself, that she constantly resists looking at too closely.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben finishes the braid and drops a soft kiss on her hairline, and then he wraps his arms at her middle, pulling her into his embrace. He brushes another kiss, now on a spot just under her earlobe, and she sighs and melts into him, closing her eyes, allowing herself to indulge in this delicate moment, something she never had with previous boyfriends. She has never been treated with such care before, either.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's confusing—how Ben has been with her the last two days compared to how he's been the past year. Rey wonders if it's all because of the amazingly, mind-blowing sex they've had. She wonders if he's gonna go back to being cold and unapproachable towards her on Monday. She wonders why he hates her so much.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She wonders if there's anything she can do to change that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Rey forgets herself in Ben’s arms for an instant. It’s so nice to be taken care of like this; and she's not shocked to realize how easy it is for her to let go of her worries for just a moment. Then, her anxiety takes over, and she’s left wondering if he’s only doing that out of pity or because she keeps <em>clinging</em> to him. She remembers the whole point of sleeping with Ben was for her to <em>not </em>feel like that. Or, god forbid, something even <em>worse</em>: <em>Ben</em> thinking like that. The idea of him seeing her as someone <em>needy</em> is too much for her to bear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Reluctantly, Rey slowly slips out of his embrace, and she swears she can <em>feel</em> how he clearly relaxes when she does that. Berating herself for being so stupid and inconvenient and not knowing what to do next, she turns around to look at him and blurts out, “Do you want to have sex?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben frowns at her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Great</em>, now he doesn’t want to do what they came there to do, either.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Feeling defensive and extremely vulnerable all of a sudden, Rey says, “Or you can go home, if you want,” she shrugs. “It’s not like you have to stay all weekend.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looks at her like she slapped him, and Rey immediately regrets ever opening her mouth. Heaving out a heavy sigh, he asks, “Are you sore?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She averts his eyes, looking everywhere in the room but him. “Yes, a little,” she admits. “But I can do it again, if you want to.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want to, but not if you’re gonna be in pain while I’m fucking you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I won’t be in pa—” she starts arguing, but he interrupts her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you usually do? On the weekends?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She glances back at him again. “What?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I mean,” he crosses his knees and sits up more comfortably, paying full attention to her. She already misses the warm feel of his legs around her hips. “What do you do on the weekends when you’re not working? You know, for <em>fun</em>?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His question throws her off guard. She wasn’t expecting for him to be interested in what she does for <em>fun</em>. To be fair, the notion of <em>workaholic</em> Ben Solo knowing what it’s like to have fun is something that could leave one flabbergasted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She considers for a moment before answering, “I go out with Rosie and Poe a lot. Sometimes I stay over my granddad’s the entire weekend, though it’s been months I haven’t visited him,” she stops, eyebrows knit together, deep in thought and continues, “I read a lot, <em>obviously. </em>And I watch k-dramas.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben furrows his brow. “K-dramas?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, yes, it’s like TV shows. Except they’re all Korean.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sounds fun,” he says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There it is, that word again. Rey doesn't know what to make of it. Even more so when he asks:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>”Can we watch one?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She can't help but grin at him. “Really?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” he nods. And then, he grabs her arm, pulling her towards him until she's perched on his lap. He brushes his thumb on her cheek and leans in to kiss her. “I can fuck you after,” he murmurs between soft kisses. “If you're not sore anymore.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey can't argue against that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>$$$</em> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, he's cursed with an immortal life, and he has to endure the pain of seeing the people he loves die as punishment for murders he committed in the wars to protect his country,” Rey explains after pressing play.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben asked for her to put on the one she loves the most for them to watch. She chooses <em>Goblin</em> because she has a personal attachment to the characters, particularly the protagonist: an orphan who's been through a lot in life until she met the man she was destined to cross paths with since she was born.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey continues, “The only one who can break the curse is his bride by pulling the sword and freeing him from his immortal life.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm sorry,” he starts, brows knit together, dazzled by the flow “How does this constitute as a happy ending?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It gets a bit sad sometimes. But it has a happy ending, I promise.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, I'm going to trust your word.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Cool.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They watch the first episode sitting against the headboard of the bed, a few inches between them. Rey feels a little weirded out by the domesticity of it all. She doesn't think she's ever <em>just </em>watched something with a man that fucked her before. She concentrates on the TV, though, peeking at him from the corner of her eyes sometimes, just to see his reaction.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's not long after that Rey is regretting her decision to watch this one. It became her comfort TV show for such a special, personal reason. Tears well up in her eyes when they watch a particular scene, and she frets about Ben seeing it and getting it all wrong. But there's also a teeny tiny part of her that wants him to pay attention and ask questions about her, which is such a significant change for her. She doesn’t like to show how damaged and vulnerable she is; to bare pieces of herself, that's more than just letting him take her clothes off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Almost as if Ben’s heard her internal rambling, he searches for her hand under the covers and holds it, his thumb caressing the top of her hand. She lets him hold her hand, her heart beating furiously against her rib cage. She looks sideways at him for a long time, before deciding to not disturb this moment with things he surely doesn't wanna know.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's not like he's <em>interested</em> in her, anyway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey makes an effort to ignore her thoughts, and after a few episodes, they get more comfortable and she almost doesn't remember she ever wanted to open up to him. Rey ends up curling beside him, laying her head on his chest whilst he rubs her back soothingly. At some point, Rey’s stomach growls, making Ben chuckle. Rolling her eyes, she gets up off the bed and searches for her phone so they can order pizza, eating slices of it in bed while the TV stays on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They spend the first hours of the afternoon like that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Until Rey begins to worry that they're wasting too much time just watching TV. She fidgets a bit on the bed, and as if he's deducing she's nervous, Ben slides his hand down her sweatshirt to her cunt, finding her already wet. He looks at her, a wordless question in his eyes, and she just nods, breathless and aroused. He pauses the TV, prodding two fingers inside her next, grinding them hard and fast, making her squirm and moan loudly. Rey comes on his fingers three times before she's begging for him to stop because she can't take it anymore. Ben brings his fingers to his mouth after he pulls them off her and licks her cum off his fingers, gazing at her while he does it. Rey tugs him down to kiss him senseless, just so she can taste herself on his tongue.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He breaks the kiss after a while and presses play on the TV again, his arm around her back as she rests her head on his chest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> <strong>$$$</strong> </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At some point, they turn off the TV when it gets dark outside. It’s past midnight. Time passes quickly, but Ben takes off her sweatshirt and fucks her slowly, like they have all the time in the world, like <em>this</em>—his warm body against hers—will still be there the next day. His thrusts are gentle and deliberate, and she can tell he's afraid of hurting her. Rey wants <em>more</em>, though, but every time she tries to spur him on, to thrust back harder into him, he stops moving. She whines and squirms underneath him, the eminence of an orgasm making it impossible for her to stay still. He kisses her and pleads, voice hoarse against her throat for her to be a <em>good girl</em> for him. When she promises to be good, he begins thrusting again, <em>achingly</em> slow, and in between pushes, he whispers over and over again that she's doing good—being so small but taking him so well, that her cunt is tight and <em>perfect</em>. At his praise, she comes <em>hard</em>, clenching around his cock, a loud groan coming out of her mouth as it happens, as Ben keeps thrusting into her, and when it's his turn, he spills inside her with a grunt and a sigh against her neck, his arms wrapping around her, pulling her into him in a warm embrace.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Pleasuring in the post-orgasm haze, Rey nuzzles deeper into his embrace, her hands tangling in his soft, luscious locks. Ben heaves out a content, satisfied sigh against her, sending shivers through her body. He’s softening inside her, yet there’s a part of her that doesn’t want to let him go, that wants to keep him there for just a little while more. She feels sleepy, but she also feels desperate to get him to talk to her, for them to never stop touching each other.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben lifts his head from her neck. Looking at her with soft, warm eyes, he asks, “Are you tired?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No,” she shakes her head. And because her body is a traitor, she yawns.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He chuckles. “Go to sleep, Rey.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He slips out of her, giving her more space, but staying at a close distance from her, his arm stroking her back gently. He looks tired. So it’s probably better if they just go to sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ignoring the rational part of her that will be embarrassed about this next Monday morning, she asks for the second time in two days, “Can we cuddle?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course,” he says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey is grateful for him being like this: indulging in the things she asks, even though no one else ever did. She’s aware she won’t have any of this tomorrow. Everything that happened, every memory they created will be carefully tucked away in a deep corner of her mind. Someplace safe that she could revisit their time together from time to time, when she’s feeling down or when she starts to miss him too much. And tomorrow, she will pretend to forget everything, just as she asked, but mostly for his sake, anyway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Because Rey knows there’s just no way she will be able to forget or let go of him—someone she used to despise, someone she thought couldn’t ever be gentle or caring, someone she could even… <em>love</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He pulls her towards him again, wrapping his arms around her as she rests her head under his chin. He kisses her hair, her temple, her forehead, and ignoring the ache in her heart for having just a few more hours with him, she closes her eyes, feeling strangely safe… and <em>happy</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At least she has that. For just a little while more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> <strong>$$$</strong> </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Ben wakes up the next morning, Rey is snoring softly, a bit of saliva leaking out of her mouth onto the sleeve of his shirt. He seizes the opportunity to watch her while she's sleeping so peacefully, fully aware he's not a sparkling vampire in a Stephanie Meyer novel and that the act itself is kinda creepy. Nevertheless, he commits the image of her beautiful face to his mind, realizing he won't ever be as close to her as he is right now, he won't ever touch her as much as he touched her this weekend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There's a tug of war inside himself right now—because there's a part of him that already knew he would come to regret accepting her proposal: he could never be with Rey just a few times and <em>forget</em> it. It's a highly impossible task. However, the other side of him that's way too self-deprecating knows damn well she would never want anything to do with him if it wasn't something done on a whim.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That’s why he said <em>yes</em> to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>(Although Ben suspects he wouldn’t know how to say no to Rey, not even if his life depended on it.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And even though he acknowledges that it's difficult now that Sunday inevitably came and he only has a few more hours with her, he knows he would do it again, a hundred times over, if only she asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Reluctantly, he disentangles his body from hers, contemplating going downstairs and cooking another breakfast for her. As he gets up off the bed, he silently prays that the day goes by slower than usual, and he can already see him holding off going home until the last possible moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben makes way to Rey’s closet. Crouching down on the floor where his bag with clothes is, he rummages through the bar quickly, trying to find new boxers to wear, only to find his phone tossed between his clothes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Shit</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He completely forgot he switched his phone off when they arrived on Friday. As he knew it would happen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The outside world didn’t matter at all when he was with Rey.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Not really thinking what he’s doing, Ben grabs his phone and switches it back on. As soon as the device comes back to life and shows up what he’s missed during the weekend, he panics.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Shit. Fuck. Shit.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s over fifty-five calls from his mother and more twenty from his father. Jannah called ten times. Even Kaydel, someone as averse to phone calls as they come, called a few times. There’s an absurd amount of missed texts, too, and the first text he sees when he opens iMessage is his mom asking why he didn’t go to Friday dinner and what’s it about he having feelings for Rey?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben feels his entire body go cold.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He doesn’t even want to deal with this right now. But he knows he should.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s not like his mom would hate the idea of him and Rey being together; as she said to him yesterday, she <em>really </em>does love Rey. It’s just that he’s just a bit embarrassed about his unrequited love being discovered, even more so now that he’s spent the weekend fucking the woman he loves, even though he shouldn’t, because she will never give him more than this. She probably still hates his guts. She will never be his.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He feels <em>pathetic.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>And god, he’s gonna murder Kaydel.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Soon</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> <strong>$$$</strong> </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Rey wakes up to an empty bed, she can’t help the dread that runs through her body, her heart thumping wildly against her rib cage. She can’t for the life of her shake the thought that Ben left without even saying goodbye. Just the <em>thought</em> of him doing that leaves her unbelievably hurt, an unavoidable ache squeezing at heart. She gets up off the bed quickly, picking up the sweatshirt Ben threw off of her last night and putting it on. Marching through the room to her closet, she finds her suspicious to be true. His bag of clothes isn’t where he left anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>God</em>, she thought she would at least have a little more time with him. She thought he would at least fuck her one more time, for the last time. If she knew last night would be the last time, she would've done things differently, perhaps. She would’ve basked in their proximity a bit more. She would’ve asked him questions, just to keep listening to his soft voice. She would’ve kissed him and would appreciate the way his lips made shivers run through her warm skin. She would’ve stayed awake and, out of her mind, perhaps she would’ve even begged for him to stay.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A part of her recognizes the anger steaming inside her, but she also thinks it's just an excuse for her to ignore how much she's hurting. Just because he left.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once more, Rey realizes how right Rose was, and, reprimanding herself for being so stupid and not listening to her, she decides she’s gonna take a long bath and scrub every inch of her body, to wash away every part of her Ben Solo touched.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just when she’s about to stroll to the bathroom, she hears him clearing her throat behind her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The hope that blooms inside her chest at his sound vanishes as immediately as it appeared. When she turns around, he's dressed like he was when they arrived at her house on Friday.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's like he was never here. Just like she asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And it <em>hurts </em>like hell.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's hard to look at his eyes, but she does it anyway. She's determined to not let him see how hurt she is right now. He seems distressed. She wonders if it's because of her. Of having to deal with this awkwardness between them right now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have to go,” he says simply.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's a punch to her gut and she flinches involuntarily. “Sure,” she tells him as nonchalantly as possible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's just—I left my phone off the entire weekend and made the mistake to turn on this morning, and there's a ton of calls from my mom, father, Jannah. Even Kaydel,” he scoffs, as if the fact that his cousin's girlfriend calling him should mean something to her. “And I missed an important dinner on Friday, so I have to—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly, it's <em>too much</em>. She asks him to stop. He glances at her like she's done something wrong. Like he's hurt for having her recuse his explanations. But it's <em>mortifying</em> to see he's explaining why he has to leave like he owes her something. Like she <em>needs</em> it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She absolutely doesn't. (She tells herself that, mentally. She <em>doesn't. </em>It's <em>fine.</em>)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even the fact that he has so many people worried about his whereabouts makes her feel utterly alone. “I probably need to do that, too, actually. My friends have probably wondered why I disappeared all weekend.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They don’t, probably. They must have assumed she was staying at her Grandad’s, and who's to say if he called her at all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay,” he says, making her attention turn back to his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay,” she repeats, emotionless.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They stay like that for a moment. Just staring at each other in silence. She doesn't know <em>what</em> to say. He probably doesn't, either.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's best she rips off the band-aid for once. “Should I show you to the door?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If he seems bothered by her urge to make him leave, he doesn't show it. Rey walks first, he is following her behind. They step downstairs quickly and silently. When she reaches the door and opens the doorknob, she positions herself behind the door, and it’s as if having something to hold onto will help her go through this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben walks to the door, stopping one foot in and one out. He’s looking down at the hand holding his bag, but lifts his head for just a moment and glances at her sideways. He swallows thickly and opens his mouth, and she waits for it, for whatever he's going to say, but nothing comes out of his mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's <em>too much</em>, <em>too much, too much.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>The weight of what they did this weekend sinking her down like an anchor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This doesn't have to be awkward,” she finds herself saying, automatically. It's like she doesn't even have control of herself anymore. “You can just forget you saw me naked.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As soon as it's out of her mouth, she regrets it. Wincing, she silently wishes he says <em>no</em>. That it won't be possible for him to forget he saw her naked. That whatever they've done in the safety of her bedroom this weekend <em>meant </em>something to him. That he could never, not even in a million years, forget it or pretend it never happened. She wants him to fight her, like they used to about things they've disagreed with at the office, instead this time it's about them. She wants him to say they <em>should </em>talk, because sex has never been that great for either of them, and they maybe have more in common than they believe they do. She wants him to give her a chance, to not hate her anymore, to let her in and teach her how to let him in. She wants him to say that they can heal each other.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben doesn't say any of that, and honestly, what was she expecting?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He averts his eyes and chuckles. Nods. Gazes back at her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Please say no please say no please—</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He walks out the door without looking back. She watches him get in his car and turn it on, watches him maneuver it out of her driveway and into the street, watches him drive until there's no sight of him in her street anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She wonders why she ever thought it would be a good idea to ask him to stay.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>80.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>81. Once Ben gets home, after answering his cousin and Kaydel’s texts, he moves on to his parents’, embarrassment dusting his cheeks. God, he can't believe now everyone in his family knows about his infatuation—lying to himself helps sometimes—with Rey.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>82. Ignoring his parents’ texts, Ben decides to talk to Armie.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>83. Rey doesn't know what's worse: ignoring the urge to cry or to text Ben. Eventually, she does neither. Instead, she texts her friends to let them know she's alive.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>84. Rey finds she’d rather not talk about it at all</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>85. The last thing Rey wants is to be alone, though, and she’s grateful more than ever for her amazing friends.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>86. When Rey doesn’t show up for work the next day, Ben gets worried and talks to Kaydel about it.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>87. Rey deleted all their texts to make it easier for her to ignore him. (And she totally searched a nice pic of him to put it on his contact. So she can keep looking. And typing messages she won’t send.)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And Ben completely ignored Kaydel’s advice, because of course he did.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>88. Ben tries again the next day, without much success on getting a text back from Rey.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>89. A week passes. Rey finally came back to work. Ben notices she’s been avoiding him, though.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>90. Rey tries her hardest to ignore everything else that happened the past two weeks, especially seeing Ben’s twitter account.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>91. Another week passes. </b>
</p><p>
  <b>(It’s almost like they’re doing it on purpose!)</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>92. Late night messages that Rey never presses “Send”.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>93. Poe is planning his birthday party for next week. </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>94. Rey says she’s bored and Rose has a suggestion.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>95. Rey is completely fine.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>96. Rose talks to Poe about how Weird™ Rey is acting.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>97. Rose and Poe decide they will let Ben and Rey work out their issues on their own.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>98.  Poe and Rose try to talk to Rey about Ben.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>99. A month after their weekend together, Rey doesn’t really feel like going out, but it’s Poe’s birthday and she makes the effort for him. After getting ready and posting a pic on Twitter, she opens her texts with Ben, sees the ones she never replied to and almost hits send.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>100. Poe’s patry is happening! </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>101.</b>
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</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>102. </b>
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  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>WARNING</b>: There's a brief description about sexual harassment at the beginning of this chapter. If you're triggered by that, start reading at "It's the first time Rey has been so close to him..." and stop again when the paragraph starts at "Honestly, she's embarrassed to tell him why..." and you can read again when this paragraph starts: "Taking a deep breath..."</p>
<p>There's also mentions of drugs and overdose, starting at "You know, I've had a really rough childhood..." and it ends with "Talking to Ben..."</p>
<p>
  <b>Please proceed with caution.</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>The ride back from the club is uncomfortable. Rey knows she's being a nuisance, but she can't stop crying. She wipes at her tears furiously. She’s been groped before, unfortunately. Men who think they’re so funny and that women like to be touched without their explicit permission. The fact that she's already gotten used to it is depressing. Now, a totally different thing is the fact that an ex-boyfriend thought he had the right to touch her without her consent. This is what is gnawing at her. It doesn't help that Ben isn't saying a word to her, either. And she believes he's definitely mad at her. Maybe she did the wrong thing, calling him. It's raining and she made him get out of the comfort of his house just to come and pick her up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's the first time Rey has been so close to him since their weekend together one month ago. She's remarkably aware of his powerful presence, a strange, heavy energy charged between them in the small space of his car. Rey no longer feels as intoxicated as she did before he picked her up. It's like the last remains of booze are slowly dissipating, but instead of her thoughts becoming clearer, anxiety clouds her mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And despite her being a sobbing mess at the moment, there's so many things she wants to say: <em>I miss you. I have missed you every single day since you left that Sunday morning. Do you think about me? Do you remember what happened? Or have you forgotten, like you said you would? </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>I think I'm in love with you.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>However, she can't get past the lump in her throat, can't quite work the words out of her mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a long period excruciating silence during which she is unable to stop crying and stealing glances at him—committing his handsome face to her memory, since she can't quite openly <em>stare</em> at him at work—, Ben asks:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Where are your friends, Rey? Why did they leave you alone with that asshole?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Honestly, she's embarrassed to tell him <em>why.</em> Rose, Poe and Din tried to tell her it was a bad idea to talk to Ezra at the club. But she was so fucking <em>lonely.</em> She spent last month pretending that she wasn't miserable because of Ben, since he was everything she thought about. She hardly managed to get by day by day. And earlier tonight, she just <em>craved</em> to be wanted. Like it could lessen the ache she felt, whenever she remembered what it felt like to be touched by Ben. So she agreed to talk to him, even though both of them were drunk and something deep inside told her she really shouldn’t go, because it probably wasn't a good idea. Still, she never would've guessed Ezra was <em>dangerous. </em>The way he acted when she broke up with him definitely put him in the asshole category, but she never thought he could be the dangerous kind. She vows to never ignore what her gut tells her ever again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s my fault,” she explains.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Because of course it is. She was so damn naive. How could she be so blind? It's <em>humiliating</em>, to be honest. The lengths she will crawl to not feel so damn alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No,” Ben replies without hesitation. “Rey, it's not your fault. Don't say that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey looks at him, teary-eyed, grateful for the reassurance, even if she doesn’t really believe it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before she can reply, though, he asks again, more urgently, his eyes drifting away from the road to assess her up and down: “Are you okay, though? Did he hurt you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She's a bit taken aback at the indication that he's really worried about her safety. A hint of hope stubbornly lodges inside her chest, although this should be the worst possible time for her to be enabling this delusion to grow. He's proven time and time again he's not interested in her like that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sensing her silence for the wrong reasons, his tone is gentler when he tells her, “You don't need to talk if you're uncomfortable about it. I don't want to pressure you to do something you don't want to, okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His eyes linger on her for a moment. The warmth she finds there is like a balm to her wounds. He brings one hand up to her face, his thumb slowly wiping the tears staining her cheeks. She leans into his touch instinctively. She feels herself significantly relaxing, his presence and touches calm and comforting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t cry anymore,” he utters softly. “Please.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When he pulls his hand away, she already misses his touch. Sighing, she turns her head to stare at the rain pouring outside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He didn't hurt me,” she whispers after a while, pointedly not looking at him. She feels way too <em>mortified</em> for that. And scared of what she would see in his eyes. “He tried to—to make me go home with him. I didn't want that, so I said no. He got angry and forced himself on me, kissing me even when I asked him to stop. I pushed him off of me and got out of the VIP section. He said I was gonna regret dumping and rejecting him.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even describing what happened makes her stomach twist into knots and flashes of the night keeps replaying in her mind, making her anxious and nauseated. Rey squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head, trying <em>not</em> to <em>think.</em> Trying to <em>forget.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Taking a deep breath, she dares a look at him. His jaw is working and he seems furious, gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles go white.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m fine,” she says. To reassure him and herself, too, she repeats, firmer: “I’m fine.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He inhales deeply. A beat later: “Do you want to press charges?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She thought about it. But she knows how these things work. Has seen it in the news, the same old story being told by countless different women with only one disappointing result. And if it came out, it could taint her reputation. The company, too. Kenobi-Organa Books was one of the most outstanding publishing houses of the country. She couldn't risk it. “No.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you sure? I can drive you there.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” she says firmly. “But thank you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He only nods, and then the conversation is over, his focus shifted to the road once again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey realizes they're getting closer to her house, and the last thing she wants right now is to be alone. She could ask him to stay at her place, but she has a feeling he would say no. Maybe it's because her house is tarnished after that weekend. Even Rey herself is having trouble sleeping in her own bedroom, filled with so many memories of him, of <em>them</em>. These days, she's been favoring the guest bedroom. Still, she can't deny her desire to be closer to him; indulge in the fantasy that this could be something for a little while more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before she loses her courage, she blurts out, “I don't wanna go home. I don't wanna be alone.” Pleadingly, she adds, “<em>Please</em>.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben glances at her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey must have it <em>really</em> bad for him. Because once again, she feels something charged between them, and maybe it's the promise of something that’s threatening to come to the surface. She swears his eyes darken a little before he darts them away to get his attention back to the road.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A moment later, he tells her hoarsely, “Okay.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The AC is on, but she shudders for an entirely different reason.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> <strong>$$$</strong> </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's the first time Rey sets foot in Ben’s home. She hosted parties for authors and employees at her house before, and of course, he was there. His home, however, remained a mystery. It's strange to be there, though; Rey never would've foreseen she would willingly find herself there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And it’s different from her spacious and enormous house—to her surprise, Ben’s is a small, cozy loft. As soon as he opens the door, letting her come in first, she assesses her surroundings, paying attention to every bit of decoration as if it'll help her understand Ben a bit better. Long, floor-to-ceiling windows are the first thing she notices. The moonlight streaming through bathes the room with ambient light and it's possible to watch the city, the sky and the stars, giving it a nice touch. Just like she'd imagined, black and gray scattered the loft. There's an L shaped gray couch and she drops her purse there. Looking up the stairs that leads to his bedroom, everything is also black or gray. Thinking about his bedroom makes her blush, remembering the things they've done in <em>hers</em>. She turns around and finds the dog bed that follows the color scheme of the loft except for the toys spread through the floor on the opposite wall, with no sight of his dog.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Where’s Kylo?” she asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He’s at my mom’s,” he answers. “We were there, before you called.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>God, she really ruined his night by calling him. Before she can mull it over, though, his bookshelves catch her attention. It was something that she always felt curious about, what would she find on Ben’s shelves. Looking back at him, she finds him standing at his door, staring back at her in a strange way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?” she asks, running her hands through her hair, unsure of what to do with them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben shakes his head, clears his throat, and replies, “Nothing. Just—just never thought you'd be here. At my house.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’ve never invited me over.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn't think you'd accept an invite,” he tells her. “Before.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Before what?</em> she wants to ask. But instead, she says, shrugging, “I’m here now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” he croaks out, eyes raking her body up and down. She shudders. “Yes, you are.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just like their moment in the car minutes ago, this one feels charged with something that scares her a little bit, something that almost takes over to consume her whole. Something life-changing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In a silent question, asking for his permission to snoop, Rey paces inside, running her hands through the numerous books stacked on the shelves. Some of them are no surprise to her, considering how pretentious he always is when it comes to his taste in books: <em>Anna Karenina, War and Peace, The Brothers Karamazov, Walden, Infinite Jest. </em>Some of them are ones that she herself loves and has on her own bookshelf: <em>This Side of Paradise,</em> <em>The Bell Jar, War of the Foxes, </em>a collection of Emily Dickinson and Robert Frost’s poems, <em>The Goldfinch </em>and <em>The Secret History</em>. A few do <em>shock </em>her, never in her life imagining he would read books like: <em>Normal People, Gone Girl, The Book Thief, Pride &amp; Prejudice</em> and others by Jane Austen<em>. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Normal People</em> made me cry so hard. What about you?” Rey asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not really.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wow, so <em>heartless</em>,” she jokes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After the distraction that the books brought, she turns around and sees the kitchen, which is towards the back next to the stairs, everything—not surprising— in black and gray.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She bites back a scoff at how predictable he is. And unexpectedly, Rey realizes she knows more about him than she thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Would you like… something?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His question startles her. She didn't even notice he walked towards her and now they're as close as they were in the car.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fighting back memories from the awful night she's had, she looks up at him. “I’d really like to take a shower and maybe even burn this dress.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At the mention of her dress, his eyes stray from hers and scan throughout her body, hungrily, and the idea that he <em>wants</em> her again sends a wave of pleasure through her and she could swim in it, completely unafraid of drowning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> <strong>$$$</strong> </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>After going upstairs and picking up a sweater and boxers—all black—and giving them to her, a faint blush on his cheeks, Ben leaves her alone. Honestly, with the way he looked at her, she thought he would undress her and join her in the shower. And then fuck her senseless on every surface of his loft. Instead, it's possible that she may have misinterpreted the way Ben looked at her. Maybe everything is inside her head and she's only seeing what she only wants to see, which honestly hurts more than she can bear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She walks back to his bedroom, heart constricted inside her chest. She finds Ben sitting by the edge of his bed, wearing his flannel pajamas, phone in his hand. When he notices her arrival, he looks up at her. She doesn't see the same fire from before in his eyes. And now, she feels sad and pathetic and more vulnerable than ever, standing in the middle of his room, wearing his stupid oversized clothes that smells <em>oh </em>so heavenly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben gets up and nods once, gesturing towards the bed. “You can take the bed. I'm going to sleep downstairs. Good night, Rey.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He turns to leave, leaving her confused and annoyed. Not standing a minute of it anymore, she all but angrily shouts, “Are you serious right now?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben stops, turns around and sighs. “What?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We won't—I mean, don't you want to—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He doesn't even let her finish, but gets her meaning anyway. “Rey, I won't fuck you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She can't say she wasn't ready for his rejection. The signs were all there, and yet, like a fucking fool, she kept ignoring them. It's her own fault: putting herself out there just to be rejected by him again. She remembers how he's said he would forget he ever saw her naked. If that wasn't evidence that it wasn't going to happen anymore, she doesn't know what is.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>God, she's so fucking <em>dumb</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And a masochist, clearly, because with tears in her eyes, she still asks: “<em>Why</em>?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He shakes his head, ignoring her question. “You've had a rough night. You're drunk. Just go to sleep.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The way he's patronizing her right now <em>infuriates</em> her. The anger inside her is a hot thing beginning to boil and she allows it to take over. Through indignant tears, she forces out, “One, I’m not drunk. And I'm aware of the night I've just had. I was the one there, remember? Don't act like you know better than I do about what I want. If you don't want to fuck me again because you can't stand the idea of it, at least have the balls to tell me so without any of your lame excuses.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His expression hardens, fury depicted all over his face. It's the Ben she's used to dealing with at the office: the one who argues with her more often than not, but respects her opinions all the same—and it's strange how comforting it is, even in the middle of a huge fight, to know his tics and tells.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he snarls. “I can't believe you'd think that—” He chuckles and takes a deep breath, shaking his head. It’s like he can't believe he's even in the middle of this conversation. “You know what? Never mind.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>No fucking way,”</em> she hisses through gritted teeth, furiously wiping the tears streaming down her face, letting the anger that was boiling finally pour out of her. “Fucking finish what you started, you <em>coward.”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, <em>I’m</em> the coward now?” he asks scornfully. He steps closer to her. He's so angry now; working his jaw, hands clenched into fists by his side. “Just for not accepting to fall at your feet? Not being at your disposal to scratch an itch for an entire weekend and then having to pretend it didn't <em>happen</em>? Not wanting to just be your hate-fuck buddy anymore?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey’s mouth falls open. She tries to say <em>something, anything, </em>but he's on a roll and goes on:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did you really think I would've accepted your conditions if I <em>didn't</em> want you desperately? If anything, Rey, the only problem here is that I want you <em>too much</em> to accept and be able to pretend that I don't.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Surely, he must see the <em>stunned</em> look on her face. Surely, he must have said it to the wrong person. <em>She’s </em>not supposed to be the one on the receiving end of his passionate, desperate confession. Despite all logic, Ben stares at her, his chest heaving from his word vomit. But to Rey, it’s like the world stops for a moment, once his confession sinks in. She doesn't know what words are. She thinks there's not enough words in any language’s vocabulary to describe how she's feeling right now. All of her beliefs are crumbling down right in front of her. She couldn't have been so stupid, right?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He <em>hates</em> her. He always did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She blinks. Twice. Still not fully believing what she heard. And she tries to tell him that. “But—but you said you would forget me,” she says, like the dumbass she is.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben lets out a humorless laugh. “How could I <em>ever</em> forget you, Rey?” he asks slowly and carefully, like he's explaining something extremely important to a child. “You’re all I ever think about.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Oh. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her heart hammers inside her chest, warmth flowing all over her body. When she looks up, she finds his eyes glancing back at hers and she holds his gaze steady. It's just… <em>Impossible</em> not to notice the flood of emotions brimming in his eyes. How could she not see that <em>before?</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>And then:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love you,” he blurts out and exhales a heavy sigh, like he couldn't hold it in anymore. As if he'll explode with the intensity of his feelings for her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For the entire time, it feels like she’s been soaked in gasoline and just now he dropped a match, only that she's not at all interested in stopping the fire.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey definitely wants to keep <em>burning</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Speechless and breathless, she closes the distance between them and stands on her tiptoes before tugging him down to meet her lips in a searing kiss. She can tell he's surprised at the beginning; a second later, he growls into her mouth and <em>oh, </em>he finally kisses her back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shortly, she's being lifted off her feet, her legs tightening around his waist. She can already feel him hardening against her and instinctively grinds against his cock, a loud moan drawing out of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben walks towards the bed and she drops her legs from his waist, standing on top of the mattress, arms wound up around his neck as she kisses and kisses and kisses him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Missed you,” she murmurs in between kisses.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they stop for air, she frantically tries to pull his pajama shirt off. After succeeding, she reaches down to tug the sweater she’s wearing up but Ben stops her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No,” he tells her, his eyes as dark as the night outside. “Leave it on,” he demands, rather possessively. It's like something possessed him, and seeing her wearing his clothes in the middle of sex is turning him on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seeing the intensity of his gaze, she swallows thickly. “I thought you liked my tits,” she says, a smirk tugging at her lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben’s expression doesn't change at her joke. “I love them and I will give them my attention later,” he tells her matter-of-factly. “But right now I want you like this. Wanna fuck you while you're wearing my sweater that smells like me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“As long as you fuck me, I’ll do whatever you want me to.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He hums, pleased with her answer. “Lay down, Rey,” he orders, leaving no room for arguments—not that she would argue with him right now, because she doesn’t even need to be told twice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once she does what Ben asks, he snatches her to the edge of the bed and he pushes his boxers off of her quickly, shamelessly checking out the damp patch she left there, making her blush.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You made a mess of my boxers, sweetheart,” he says, teasingly. Hovering over her, attuned to her every reaction and realizing the way her breath catches at his endearment, he asks, “Do you like that? Being called sweetheart?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She nods, melting at his sweet words.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Use your words, Rey. You gotta tell me what you want. What you like.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I do,” she tells him breathlessly. “Very much. Please don’t <em>stop</em>.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, Rey,” he says with a chuckle. “I don’t plan to stop doing <em>everything</em> to you anytime soon.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is that a promise?” she jokes, grinning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If you want it to be,” his tone is serious. It tells her he’s thinking beyond the confines of his bedroom. “<em>Yes</em>. Of course.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her heart squeezes a little at that. She looks up at him, finds his warm eyes raking over her and nods. Biting her lip, she grabs the waistband of his pants and tugs it down a little. “Now stop wasting time and fuck me, baby.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In one swift motion, Ben pushes down his pants, awkwardly shimmying out of it and tossing it somewhere around his room, finally freeing his hard, flushed red, thick cock, the tip already leaking a bead of pre-cum. Rey salivates at the sight of it. She remembers how it felt when she sucked him off, the feeling of its velvety skin against her tongue, the feeling of it twitching inside her mouth before he spilled down her throat. She wants to do it again, <em>now</em>, and when she gets up slowly, supporting her weight on her elbows, Ben puts a hand on her stomach, laying her down again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want—want to blow you,” she protests.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Later, Rey,” Ben says. He tucks her chin up, kissing her slowly. She feels dizzy with his touch. “Really want to come inside your pussy right now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s not a bad idea, honestly. She loves when he comes inside. But she wants to put on an act and misbehave just a little, for the sake of remembering how their first time went: her being spanked for being a mouthy brat. “Ben,” she whines.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sweetheart,” he says sweetly. “Be a good girl for me, will you?” Ben waits for her to assent to his request, ever so bossy. When she does, he continues, “Spread your legs and lift your hips.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She can't <em>deny</em> him, especially when he speaks and bosses her around like that. Holding his gaze, she does as he's told, basking in the way his eyes stray from her eyes to her cunt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Good girl</em>,” he praises softly whilst he skims his fingers lightly through her labia, coating them in her wetness. Instantly, he brings them to his mouth, tasting her once again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Missed you,” he murmurs dazedly. “Wanted this so much, never thought this day would come.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah? Then <em>show</em> me how much you wanted me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now, it's his turn to prove he doesn't need to be told twice. Soon, he's grabbing her thighs and lining himself at her entrance, his cockhead slotting in. Rey gasps, the same sentiment from the first time when she thought he wouldn't fit coming back. She revels in the fact that, once again, she couldn't be more wrong. He always fits like he was made for her. Ben looks at her worriedly, afraid he hurt her. But she only shakes her head, opening her legs even wider and thrusting her hips towards his, spurring on, welcoming his length fully.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben groans loudly when he bottoms out. Not even waiting to catch his breath, he starts fucking her in earnest, hitting all the right spots inside her. She clings to him, their bodies thrusting into each other hard, desperately, like they're both trying to prove to each other the same thing. That this is <em>real</em>. Rey feels tethered, like Ben’s anchoring her to the moment, to that room, to <em>him</em>. She isn’t used to giving herself like this, to let herself go so deeply and carefree, to the point she doesn't know where she ends and he begins. Like she could jump off a cliff, because she's sure he'll be there to catch before she falls. Like there's just no way things won't be different after this—she was right when she thought this night would change everything.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He <em>loves</em> her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And when she thinks that she once thought he despised her, she almost laughs mid-coitus, but her wish soon shifts when Ben changes the angle of her hips, lifting her legs up and delivering a particularly hard thrust that makes her <em>scream.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Holy shit—<em>yes</em>, <em>there</em>!—oh god, Ben, <em>yes</em>—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You like that? You like when I fuck you like that?” he shouts, his thrusts pushing her up the bed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, <em>oh god,</em> I love when you fuck me like that—” she cries out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rey, you feel so <em>fucking </em>good, <em>Jesus fuck—</em>”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You feel so good, <em>too</em>—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re <em>amazing</em>, the most gorgeous woman I've ever met—” he slants his mouth over hers, a kiss that consumes her from head to toe. When he pulls apart, he mutters, “I can’t believe you're here, can't believe you’re letting me fuck you—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s somewhat helpless to how his words instantly nestle their way into her heart. It’s such a pleasant sensation, to be spoken to so softly whilst he ruts into her with wild abandon, as if it's the last thing he'll ever do in his life. The onslaught combination of his thrust and his words rapidly brings her close to orgasm. She feels it building deep down her belly, her entire body shaking, her toes curling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben’s hand sneaks between them and his thumb finds her clit, circling around it roughly. She sees <em>stars. </em>It's <em>delicious, </em>she's so <em>close—</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Fuck</em>, I'm gonna cum, Ben, baby—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Gonna cum on my cock?” he pants against her neck, and continues thumbing at her clit. “Gonna be my <em>good girl </em>and cum on my cock?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey heaves out a sharp intake of breath. And then she comes hard, clenching around his cock with a loud cry. Not long after, Ben comes with a growl, spilling inside her, drenching her walls. He collapses atop of her, careful to not crush her with his weight. After, he makes a move to get out of her, but she locks her legs around his waist and winds her arms around his neck, her hands stroking his hair. She sighs, happy and satiated, and realizes that right now she's not afraid of being affectionate with him at all. Doesn’t really mind if she’s being <em>clingy</em> or <em>needy</em>. Rey’s fear of true commitment—giving all of herself to someone who truly knows her and to someone that, deep down, she knows won't leave her no matter what—subsides. Those fears no longer take up a huge space inside her heart.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben lifts his head from her neck and finds her mouth. He murmurs that he loves her in between kisses and she feels like her heart is gonna explode out of happiness. No one's ever said <em>I love you</em> to her like that, so freely and with such certainty. It's like Ben has kept it in for so long he's happy to repeat it over and over again, and she's more than happy to hear it. It fills her body with delight, it makes her warm all over, makes her heart beat wildly against her rib cage, makes her smile wide and carefree against his shoulder: being <em>loved</em> by him. She has strong feelings for him—so great that she even had a hard time acknowledging it before—<em>, </em>she’s <em>aware </em>of that. She's just not at that stage of saying it back. Yet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Most definitely she will say it soon.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the quiet, worried he won't understand her hesitancy, she whispers, “I do have feelings for you. I just… need some time to feel ready. To say it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben finally slips out of her and rolls to her side. Grabbing a pillow, he lays his head on top of it and pulls her toward him, making her lay her head on his chest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can wait for whenever you're ready, Rey, because you're worth it,” he assures her. “I'm not going anywhere.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey feels tears welling up at her eyes. She snuggles closer to him, inhaling his wonderful scent, marveling at how good it is to have his warm skin against hers, and there are no words to express how grateful she is right now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Still, she asks: “Are you sure?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That I’m not going anywhere? Yes. I'm afraid you’re stuck with me now, Miss Kenobi.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She laughs and arches an eyebrow, “Doesn't that imply you'll never meet anyone else again, though?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His tone matches his serious expression when he says, “Rey, I don't want to scare you. I understand you need time to get to a stage I’ve been in for a while.” He breathes deeply into her hair, dropping a soft kiss to her hairline. “But believe me when I say this: you're <em>it</em> for me. It has been like this for quite some time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey beams against his neck. Feeling just a tad shy, she sheepishly says, “I think you're it for me, too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That's the closest she’ll get to saying those three words at the moment. But it feels like a weight has been taken off her shoulders and she's never felt lighter in her whole life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If this is what real happiness feels like, she’s welcoming it with open arms and an open heart.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> <strong>$$$</strong> </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sometime later, there are still things Rey is curious about. When did he exactly start having feelings for her? Why did he say “sure” when she told him he could've just forgotten he saw her naked? There are things they've said to each other throughout the year they worked together that Rey recognizes as what it was: ways for them to hurt each other. And although she firmly believes in Ben’s feelings for her, she doesn't want it to be something they can just skim over, especially if they want this thing between them to work.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In his bedroom, she quickly voices her concerns and to his credit, he listens to her patiently. Ben apologizes for a lot of things he's said and she does it as well. He mostly expresses his regrets, agreeing with her about what he said when he left her house.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It wasn't my finest moment,” he agrees, rubbing his hands on her back. “I just—I thought it would be the right thing to do, to give what you wanted. I thought you'd really want me to forget you. But it's just… I spend all of my waking moments thinking of you, Rey. And when I go to sleep, I often <em>dream</em> of you, too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was scared of what I felt,” she tells him. “Ever since the first time, when you looked at me like that, I just…” She shrugs. “Everything changed. And I thought—I really thought you hated me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought <em>you</em> hated me,” he retorts. “It always seemed like you'd rather do anything than stay in the same room with me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I only felt this way because <em>you</em> acted so cold and rude towards me!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry. When I first met you, you took my breath away. I remember you were wearing that thin-strap pink dress and I could see how your collarbone was dotted in freckles.” He groans. Like the memory he's evoking is too much for him. And Rey can't help but smirk at that. “And I didn't know how to approach you and I allowed my own insecurities to get the best of me. I don't know how to act around you. And that led me to hurt you. I’m really sorry, Rey. I promise I won't ever treat you like that again. I've been in love with you since I first laid eyes on you. I’ll try my best to show you how much everyday.” He sighs. “Even though I still feel like I'm a teenager all over again, when I’m around you,” he tells her, exasperated.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Oh</em>, he has such a way with words.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's exhilarating to find out she has that great of an effect on him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s kind of adorable, to be honest,” she says, wrinkling her nose.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He chuckles. “I’m glad I can entertain you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, Benjamin, you've done way more than that tonight.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hope you're not tired, then, because I plan on keeping you on this bed for the rest of the weekend, sweetheart. Maybe even longer. Maybe we won’t even go to work on Monday.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She laughs. “Very scandalous of you, Mr. Solo. Skipping work to fuck me.” And then repeats her earlier challenge, “Is that a promise?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I guess I should <em>show</em> you, then.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He roams his hands down her body, finally pushing his sweater off of her. A second later, one of his hands kneads one of her tits, rolling a nipple between thumb and forefinger, whilst the other drifts lower to her cunt, two fingers instantly pushing inside her. He makes her come twice in less than ten minutes and she doesn't find it in her to be not even slightly embarrassed about her responsiveness to him. She just wants the night to keep going, wants them to keep making each other come all night long, until they pass out either from pleasure or exhaustion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> <strong>$$$</strong> </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Afterward, they spend a while just kissing and enjoying each other’s warmth, all tangled up in each other’s arms. When Ben breaks the kiss for a moment, nuzzling at her jaw, she sighs happily. And then, remembering how things will be significantly different from now on, Rey asks, biting her lip:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you think your parents will be okay with us being together?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hmm,” he murmurs, lips nibbling at her earlobe. “They already know I'm in love with you. Kaydel spilled my secret out and they teased me mercilessly about it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shut the fuck up! No way!” she shrieks in horror and embarrassment for him. “Are you serious?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” Ben lifts his head from the spot where he was kissing to look at her. He smiles wide, a toothy grin that takes her breath away, that she wants to collect and tuck it in the safest place inside her heart. “What about you?” His thumb caresses her cheek slowly. “Do you think old Ben Kenobi will be happy for us?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey does some touching of her own while she thinks of her answer. She traces her fingertips on his bicep, reveling in the way he shivers because of it. And then, “I think because of how I didn't spend much time of my childhood with him, Grandad is always trying to make sure I have everything I want. Everything he thinks will make me happy. And <em>you </em>make me happy, Ben. Once he sees me with you, I'm sure he will not be against it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben furrows his brow. “Why didn't you spend your childhood with him?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ah. Considering the fact that she hardly ever talks about this, it's no surprise Ben doesn't know what happened. No one does. Only her few friends. Her grandfather made sure of that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Underneath him, his body a comforting weight pinning her down on the mattress, she looks up at him, her fingers still tracing patterns on whatever part of skin she can reach. But he deserves to know. She wants to tell him her darkest secrets. She wants to bare her soul to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her words are out of her mouth slowly, “You know, I had a really rough childhood. My mom was an addict. My grandad tried to help her get clean, but he never had much success on it. She used to run away from home a lot, whenever my grandad found out she was using again. On one of these runs, they ended up losing touch, although he never once stopped hoping she would come home. She overdosed a few days after I was born,” Rey stops talking, tears flooding her eyes. It's always hard to talk about it, even harder trying to get past the lump in her throat for her to go on. Ben just holds her tighter. She continues, “I bounced around to foster home from foster home, always hoping that it would be the last one, that somehow that family would become my real family, that I would finally have a home. And grandad didn’t know I existed until I was ten, and it was just a lucky coincidence, because Maz Kanata, one of my last social workers, was a personal friend and figured it out when she saw my birth certificate. I don't know how different my life would be if he didn't find me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Talking to Ben about it is like taking a huge weight off her shoulders. She gazes up at him expectantly and realizes there's tears in his eyes, too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I wish I could erase every little bad thing that ever happened to you,” he finally tells her after a minute of silence. “But I can't. So I’m just promising you now that I'll be here for you, always, as long as you'll have me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her heart swells at that. Rey has never felt more peaceful in her life; it’s like everything bad that had ever happened to her belongs to another lifetime. Right now, the entire world, her entire existence could be determined by this moment: just the two of them in the darkest hours of the night, bodies shone and bathed by the moonlight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She smiles at him and closes the distance between their faces, kissing him deeply, hoping that he can feel all of that. That she wants to have him forever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Remembering the dread she once felt when she was an orphan, whenever she lay in bed awake at night, afraid of what would happen in the morning, wondering if she would ever feel safe. And <em>oh</em>, for the first time, when she thinks of the next morning, she feels <em>safe</em> and she doesn't dread it all. She can already picture how it's gonna be: waking up in his arms, being dotted by his kisses. And if he wants to fuck her until she’s a squirming mess under him, if Ben wants to take, she'll happily give and give and give.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They end up sleeping naked, tangled in each other’s arms. It feels like they've finally found home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> <strong>$$$</strong> </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's hard to wake up when cuddling with her… <em>boyfriend </em>is better. And warmer. But Rey wants to do something nice for Ben, something she's never done for her previous boyfriends before. She wants to cook him breakfast. A nice way to say “thank you” for all the food he's cooked and had it delivered for her, even when she was a lovesick fool and did her best to avoid him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Putting on his sweatshirt and his boxers that he threw around the room last night, she comes down the stairs as silently as possible, as to not wake him up. She really wants it to be a surprise.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But when she enters his kitchen, she realizes there's so many flaws to her plan. The most obvious one is that she doesn't know how to cook, of course. She needs instructions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly, she remembers there are thousands of recipes she can easily access on the internet. Tiptoeing out of the kitchen, she walks towards the couch, already spotting her purse there. Only then she realizes she hasn't texted her friends back last night, and feeling a new sense of urgency, she takes her phone out of the purse, quickly unlocking it and opening her texts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And that's when Rey’s entire world collapses, sweeping her off her feet. She drops to her knees, suddenly not even having the strength to sustain herself. She thinks a sob escapes out of her mouth, but she's not entirely sure. Afraid of Ben seeing her like <em>that</em> and finding out <em>why</em>, she feels a wave of humiliation creeping in. Tears streaming down her face, she gets up slowly and picks her purse, putting her phone inside, as if doing that will make everything disappear. As if this is something happening to somebody else.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She searches for Ben’s car keys, because there's no way she could ask for a Lyft dressed like that. It’s a really fucked up thing to do, running off with his car in the morning after the amazing night they've had. And she realizes this will end up with him coming after her, later, if he doesn't give up on her once and for all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey shuts off all of these thoughts, trying to clear her mind for the drive. She's gonna do one thing at a time, now. She will do things automatically. She won't think about <em>anything</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she does find his car keys, she <em>almost</em> runs to the door, locking it behind her, with a single thought running through her mind, breaking her new rule: <em>I've found happiness and now the universe is locking it away from me.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>103.</b>
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</p><p>
  <b>104.  CW: SEX CRIME, REVENGE PORN.</b>
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</p><p>
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  <b>105. The same morning, Ben wakes up to find Rey gone and finds out what happened. Rose and Poe expresses their concerns, too.</b>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Perhaps the greatest comfort for Rey at the moment is that she's a hundred percent sure Ben’s gonna look for her. He will be worried sick. Not only just because she basically hijacked his car, but mainly because he <em>loves</em> her. It's only been hours and sometimes there's a tiny voice inside her asking how it could be possible that Ben feels that way about her. It's like there's a war waging on inside herself. There's a part of her that immediately wants to turn the car around and hide in his embrace until this nightmare ends. The other part, however—the one that feels humiliation, embarrassment, anxiety and self-deprecation creeping in, surrounding and overwhelming her—, wins the battle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey doesn't turn the car around. She tries her best not to let her mind spiral with the numerous scenarios in which Ben simply decides he doesn't want to deal with her shit anymore, and just drives around town. It's still early on a Sunday morning in Coruscant—the roads are empty and quiet. The sun shines high in the sky and it's a beautiful morning. If it wasn't for all that's happening, if this morning was everything she wanted her first morning with Ben to be, she would beg for him to come out with her and go on a walk to enjoy the lovely weather. Needless to say, this won't happen anytime soon. <em>If ever.</em> She finds it highly ironic how everything became an ugly mess just overnight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey doesn't even notice the path she makes until she gets there. Soon, she's reaching her Grandad's house driveway, slowing the car down until she comes to a stop. For a moment, she's afraid of his reaction. This is big and it's gonna cost her so much. If her Grandad was mad about the mess she's led herself into, she wouldn't hold it against him. Rey knows she's fucked up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's just—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She only needs to be hugged right now. To be held tightly and have someone whisper that everything is gonna be okay, even if she doesn't really believe it. She wants to feel as safe as she felt when her Grandad finally found her and brought her home. Perhaps that's why, unconsciously, she drove here.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey steps out of the car. Slowly, as if the weight of the world is set on her shoulders, she drags her feet through the pebbled pathway to the main entrance and rings the doorbell.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When her Grandad eventually opens the door, he looks like he's just woken up, yet Rey can't help but fling herself into his embrace and break down again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m so sorry, Grandad,” she says against his chest over and over again, tears staining his silk robe.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fortunately, just as she wished, her Grandad just holds her while she cries, suddenly making everything okay again, even if just for a moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> <strong>$$$</strong> </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nothing Rey has ever done in life is harder than telling her grandfather—who was blissfully unaware of what’s going on—what happened. She sits on the couch in his living room, holding the box of tissues he gave her so she could blow her nose and wonders if she'll ever stop feeling so humiliated. If she'll ever stop giving in to the denial that sets on her brain for just a minute, only for reality to crash in the most abrupt way—reminding her this is <em>real</em>, this is something that's happening to her, this is her life. She cries, sobs wracking out of her body while her grandfather just waits, holding her hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m so—” she tries to say in between hiccups, but she's interrupted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rey, you have to stop saying you’re sorry,” her Grandad says gently, squeezing her hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s just—god, I can’t believe I was so dumb, I shouldn't—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Darling, you <em>know</em> better than to say it’s your fault. You know it’s not.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But if—if I hadn’t trusted—” Rey starts but another wave of tears makes it impossible for her to finish.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rey, I'm <em>so</em> sorry you're suffering, I’m torn up that you're in pain right now, but you need to be kinder to yourself,” he tells her softly. “If it was your friend, if it happened to Rose, would you blame her? Would you say it's her fault for trusting the wrong person?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rationally, Rey <em>knows</em> her grandfather is right. She's an adult and she's in control of her body. She decides what to do with it. Taking pictures of herself and sending it to someone else isn’t something she should be so ashamed about. Still, the fact that there’s a lot of people violating her privacy right now breaks her just a little too much. Still, the instinct of blaming herself for everything wrong that happens to her, especially if it <em>could </em>be avoided, it's hard to ignore. It's hard to let go.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And there's the fact that she just <em>knows </em>everyone will say she shouldn't hold such a high position in the company if she's behaving like… a <em>slut</em>. Not that anyone would even dream to say that about Ben, if that happened to him. The double standard of it all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I am worried about what people will say at the company,” she says in a small voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll take care of it,” he assures her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Grandad, I don't want you to fight my battles—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rey, you need to take a break. I mean it. It's fine. Everything’s gonna be fine. We’ll take the necessary legal measures to sort this out.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey shares a long look with her grandfather. And then lets out an exhale she didn't know she was holding in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He smiles at her and pulls her in for another tight hug. “I missed you,” he murmurs against her hairline.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I missed you too, Pops.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Now,” he says after a while, taking Rey out of his embrace to look at her. “I don't think those are your clothes. And I recognize that car outside. It's not yours.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey feels warmth suffusing her cheeks. She says nothing. Not that she really thinks he will be against her dating Ben. But she's just a little bit shy at being caught. She never once cared about laying out details of her love life to her grandfather. But to her, Ben is <em>different. </em>It's… more real. So this moment feels like the equivalent of sharing details about your embarrassing crush with your mom—something she never done in her life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was at Ben’s,” she confesses.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her grandfather raises an eyebrow. “Ben Solo?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, Pops, the one and only,” she rolls her eyes a little.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re dating Ben Solo?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If he can forgive me for running away with his car in the morning, yes, I think I am.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He lets out a noncommittal noise. And then: “Ben is a good man. I’m pretty sure he’ll understand.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey’s fear of him <em>not </em>understanding is so great she averts her eyes for a moment, avoiding her grandad’s gaze. She believes he loves her, but will he still believe she's not damaged and worthy of his love after all of this?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her Grandad seems to know just what’s going through her mind. He calls for her attention. “Rey, remember to be kind to yourself. Also, I think you two will be good to each other.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks, Pops.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Take a break. Your room is always ready for you here.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She doesn't need to be told twice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>TWO WEEKS LATER.</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the two weeks that follow, Rey does a lot of things: per her grandfather’s request, she starts therapy. Rey knows it's been a long time coming; on top of the trauma she just went through, she needs to work out her abandonment and trust issues. Initially, she goes to her first session and cries her heart out in the most brutal way, but surprisingly she leaves the therapist’s office feeling relieved and lighter. She comes back two days later and agrees on going to two sessions per week.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Since the therapy doesn't take much of her day and week, she spends a lot of her time in her childhood bedroom—still filled with posters of boy bands, indie movies and shelves stacked of worn books—just laying in bed and watching TV. She does a lot of online shopping in the late nights whenever she can't sleep, filling her mind with superfluous things to avoid overthinking about what happened.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She knows her grandfather took the necessary measures to solve the problem, but once something is out on the internet, it's out forever and that's a fact Rey will have to live with for the rest of her life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What Rey doesn't do in the two weeks that follow is: turn her phone back on. She allows her grandad to call her best friends on Monday morning and tell them that she's alive and safe at the moment, but that she is taking some time for herself. They sent their best wishes through him, and she feels comforted. The next call her grandad makes is a bit harder—at least for her, even though she's not the one making it—and it takes a lot of strength on her part not to listen to that conversation. When her grandad gets off of the phone with Ben, he tells her he'll send someone to pick up his car and that he's glad she's safe.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her grandad doesn't tell her if he said something else, <em>anything</em>, and the fear of confirming he really didn't is so great she doesn't touch the subject anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But <em>goddammit, </em>she misses Ben so much.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She misses Ben in a way she hadn't thought it was possible to miss another person.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She touches herself to thoughts of him and memories of when they were together, but when she comes, she doesn't feel satisfied at all. She wants him inside her, whispering sweet filth against her ear until he fills her up. She cries, overwhelmed with longing and fear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But she won't go down without a fight. She will tell him how she feels about him, and that if he accepts her again, she's willing to do the work with him for them to be together for good. She’s <em>ready </em>and she knows what to do. She wipes her tears and for the first time in two weeks, she turns on her phone.</p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
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  <b>106. </b>
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  <b>108. </b>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>If Rey’s life was a book, this would be the final act: where all the obstacles the main character went through along the way would lead to their earned happy ending. This would be the point where the boy gets the girl. Rey’s life isn't a book, although she’d love it to be one. She hopes, however, this is the point where the girl gets the boy.</p><p> </p><p>She walks into the entrance of the venue, admiring the details of the decor: there are small rounded tables with white tablecloths on; a string of lamp lights hanging on the ceiling gives a fairytale-like, romantic element to the place. Which is very fitting, considering the book they're launching is a rom-com. The place is crowded with soft, ambient music playing on speakers while everyone there seems to be immersed in conversations.</p><p> </p><p>Rey knows it's not possible everyone stopped doing whatever they were busy with just to <em>stare</em> at her. She clutches her purse against her stomach, and as she tries to walk with her head held high, she <em>feels </em>everyone’s gaze on her. With her heart caught on her throat, she proceeds, ignoring the feeling of being scrutinized, because nothing else really matters—except finding Ben.</p><p> </p><p>It's not long until she succeeds, though. When she takes a look at the bar in the corner of the room, she finds him sitting there, his back to the door, completely oblivious to what’s happening around him. Rey thinks with a powerful satisfaction that she would recognize him anywhere: his great posture, his wide shoulders, his soft, dark hair. It's automatic, the way her feet almost run towards him.</p><p> </p><p>Slowly, her heart hammering inside her chest, she places a hand on his shoulder, her voice coming out all hoarse. “Is this seat taken?”</p><p> </p><p>The look of surprise on his face at seeing her there is evident. He probably hasn't checked Twitter, which—who can blame him, really?</p><p> </p><p>Rey waits for him to voice permission for her to sit beside him, but he only shakes his head. It's hard not to let this small bit of interaction crumble everything inside her—she feels <em>so</em> vulnerable, so open. She wants to commit herself to him, fully, and if he rejects her, she will be beyond <em>crushed</em>. But Rey understands he’s reacting from a place of deep hurt—just like she would feel if he rejected her right now, she <em>knows </em>she deeply hurt him by leaving without a word and considering he wanted it, not allowing him to be beside her for the last two weeks.</p><p> </p><p>Rey sits down slowly, placing her purse on top of the counter. Side-eying him, she notices he's drinking whiskey. Neat. She can’t help but wrinkle her nose at his choice of drink, and as if he was watching her without her even noticing, he orders her a gin spritz. If it were someone else, she would be furious with the presumption that she needed anyone to order her drinks for her. But the fact that Ben knows her so well, to the point that he remembers her favorite drink besides wine makes a flicker of hope to light upon her chest.</p><p> </p><p>The bartender settles Rey’s drink on the counter under a cup holder. She sips a bit of it slowly, gathering the courage to talk to him, especially because Ben keeps his gaze on everything around him but her. She starts to feel like he really won’t accept her back and tears well up at her eyes. The silence becomes too much for her to bear; all the things she <em>needs</em> for him to listen tangled up in her throat, impatiently waiting to come out.</p><p> </p><p>“Ben, I'm—”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m glad you’re—”</p><p> </p><p>They stare at each other. This time, Ben doesn't avert his eyes. It's like he's <em>really </em>looking at her now, like it’s fully sinking in she’s <em>really </em>there and Rey shudders, finding it just a bit hard to remember breathing. Not because she's anxious and nervous, but because she keeps forgetting how <em>intense</em> and <em>lovely </em>his eyes are and she wants to drown on them. She would do <em>anything </em>to make him keep looking at her like that.</p><p> </p><p>“You go first,” he says after a while, his voice all hoarse, not breaking eye contact with her.</p><p> </p><p>Rey swallows thickly, thinking about all the ways he used that raspy voice with her.</p><p> </p><p>She doesn't really know where to begin, though. Does she just blurt out she loves him and expect for the best? She should've had a speech ready, damn it. But as soon as she opens her mouth to say <em>something, </em>a slow song begins to play, and looking around the room, she notices several people slow dancing.</p><p> </p><p>She takes the last sip of her drink and extends her hand, hoping with all her might that he takes it and asks, “Dance with me?”</p><p> </p><p>Ben seems surprised at her request for an infinitesimal second. Then, he gulps down the rest of his whiskey and nods, getting up off the stool and locking his hand on hers.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>$$$</strong> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Rey has missed Ben so much that at the smallest touch of his hand on her bare upper back and the way he tightly clasps his hand in hers as he guides her and sways slowly, a shiver runs through her body. Thinking back to their first weekend together, to how much miscommunication there was between them, the thought of her body reacting to him like that, the fact that she’s here to tell him she’s hopelessly in love with him, all of it sounds just a bit crazy to her, but yet at the same time it seems <em>so right</em>. Like this is how it was supposed to be all along, they were destined to meet and change each other by simply being in each other’s lives. It’s insane and strange, but she wouldn’t want it another way. She just needs to convince him she’s all in for good. Forever, if he agrees to it.</p><p> </p><p>Rey lets out a low chuckle.</p><p> </p><p>His voice is a low, deep rumble that makes her heart beat wildly against her rib cage. “What’s so funny?”</p><p> </p><p>She thinks about how to convey all of her thoughts into one sentence and settles for a simpler version of it, “I just never thought we would be here.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ve already come to countless of these parties.”</p><p> </p><p>Rey steps back a bit to roll her eyes at him, showing him she knows he’s being obtuse on purpose. Still, she replies softly, “I meant, you and me. Here. Together. Willingly dancing with each other.”</p><p> </p><p>Ben stares at her with a frown on his face, like he really doesn’t know <em>why</em> she’s here. Dancing with him. It’s possible he thinks she’s only here for work. That being the workaholic she has always been, it’s the only reason she would be here.</p><p> </p><p>She knew that choosing to take a break and stay away from him when he wanted so badly to be by her side would take a toll on him, but seeing his reaction makes her heart ache. If she thought that being rejected by <em>him</em> would hurt, it’s nothing compared to having him thinking <em>she</em> would reject him.</p><p>Rey stops swaying, putting her hand on his chest. He still holds her and Rey hangs onto his touch like a lifeline.</p><p> </p><p>“Ben, I owe you an apology.”</p><p> </p><p>“Rey, you don’t <em>owe</em> anything not to me or anyone. I know you had to do what was best for you at the time, and it’s okay that it didn’t—”</p><p> </p><p>“Ben, stop,” she tells him, not unkindly. “Just—just let me finish, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Ben nods, his eyes intent on her face.</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>know </em>I don’t owe anyone anything. But I <em>really</em> am terribly sorry that I hurt you. I <em>am</em> sorry that what I needed to do at the time of what happened was to shut you out. Not just you, but perhaps you were the one that I hurt the most.” She takes a deep breath. “And I didn’t mean to. I really didn’t. I just really needed to figure out my shit first.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain—”</p><p> </p><p>Rey scoffs.</p><p> </p><p>God, how can he be so <em>stubborn</em>?</p><p> </p><p>She guesses the two of them are definitely a match made in heaven.</p><p> </p><p>“Ben, I am not doing anything I <em>don’t</em> want to. If anything these last two weeks and therapy have taught me—” He looks stunned and she chuckles. “Yeah, I started therapy, can you believe it? Anyway, if anything all of this taught me is that what I’m doing right here, right now isn’t something I <em>don’t</em> want to do.” And suddenly, the words keep coming out of her mouth in a fast pace, and she can’t stop, “I <em>want</em> you to understand <em>why</em> I needed a break, because I <em>need</em> you to understand me. I <em>need </em>you to want me, again, because I—”</p><p> </p><p>She stops and gazes up at him. Reaching up a hand to his face, she caresses his cheek like he’s the most precious thing in her life, because he <em>is</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Ben keeps her gaze steady. Whispering, he asks, “Because you what, Rey?”</p><p> </p><p>Gently and smiling, she whispers back, “Because I love you, Ben.” He lets out a shuddering breath, like he can’t believe the words coming out of her mouth. “I’m sorry it took me so long to catch up. But I hope you still feel the same, because I am <em>hopelessly</em>, <em>completely</em> in love with you.”</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, Rey can’t believe she’s said it out loud. To him. It’s the first time she’s confessed it to someone. It’s the first time she puts herself out there, vulnerable and open, like saying, “<em>This is me, all of me, take it if you want</em>” and she doesn’t feel panic cropping up—on the contrary, she feels stronger because of it. It’s the first time she’s ever said <em>I love you</em> to a man she <em>truly</em> loves, and she’s glad it’s him. She hopes with all of her heart that it will always be him.</p><p> </p><p>For his part, Ben only smiles—the crooked smile she’s come to cherish and love so much—and leans down to kiss her. She’s shocked, at first, not really being used to public displays of affection, but her mind catches up quick, and she winds her hand around his neck, fingers tangling up in his soft, luscious hair and kisses him back fiercely, freely, like they’re the only ones present in the party.</p><p> </p><p>In the world.</p><p> </p><p>To her, it kind of is.</p><p> </p><p>He’s the only thing that matters.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>$$$</strong> </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When the kiss gets too heated, they get back to dancing. To be fair, to anyone who dared to look at them, it would be more like they’re hugging each other tightly and moving round and round. Rey rests her head on Ben’s chest, content to hear the reassuringly slow and steady beating of his heart. Ben keeps dropping kisses on her hair, her temple, her cheek, anywhere he can reach.</p><p> </p><p>“You know,” he murmurs against her hair. “If it wasn’t clear, I love you, too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I believe it wasn’t clear, Mr. Solo,” she jokes. “Would you mind showing me again?”</p><p> </p><p>He grips her back tightly and reaches down to whisper in her ear, “I can show you if you come home with me, because I can’t wait to tear this dress off you and fuck you.”</p><p> </p><p>His words and the way he says it… She feels her clit throbbing. If it wasn't for his steady hold on her body, she's sure her knees would give in. She wants him <em>so much</em>, <em>right now</em>—</p><p> </p><p>As she's about to accept his invite to his loft, she feels him freeze on her embrace.</p><p> </p><p>She frowns. “What’s wrong—”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Shit</em>,” he curses. “My mom saw us.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” she mutters. She turns around to see Leia—always elegantly dressed like she's royalty—staring at them. Briefly, Rey wonders if maybe Leia has changed her mind about them dating, after what happened. She expresses her concerns, “Do you think she's disappointed that we're together?”</p><p> </p><p>Ben looks at her like she's grown another head. “What? Of course not. Knowing her as I do, she's probably planning our wedding and—" he shuts his mouth. Likely scared of scaring <em>her</em> off, he sighs, “Sorry, Rey, I didn't mean to—forget I said that—there's no rush at all for <em>anything—</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Rey believes it's impossible to find something as adorable as Benjamin Solo stuttering because he's nervous. She shuts <em>him </em>up with a kiss that he's more than happy to reciprocate.</p><p> </p><p>After breaking the kiss for air, and grinning against his lips, their foreheads touching, Rey mumbles, “If you ever propose, I hope you’re already aware I want a huge diamond. Pink, preferably.”</p><p> </p><p>Ben hums and nods his head against hers. “Anything—<em> anything </em>you want, sweetheart.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good. Now take me home and fuck me, as you said you wanted.”</p><p> </p><p>Rey is certain they've never walked out of a party as quickly as they did.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>$$$</strong> </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When they leave the party, Ben asks if she arrived driving her car, but Rey sheepishly says <em>no</em>, that she hoped he would end up taking her home instead. He grins widely, pleased beyond himself. Once they're finally on their way to his loft, it's such a hard task for him to keep his hand off of her while he's driving. He wants to undress her there already, but her dress isn't helping and she keeps laughing, reminding him that good things come to those who wait. He only grumbles, clearly annoyed, but contents himself on touching her tits over her dress every now and then, all at once making her gasp with arousal and laugh because he's <em>ridiculous </em>and <em>hers</em>.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn't even wait for the elevator door to shut when he pounces on her, attacking her with his mouth. He kisses her like he's gonna devour her whole, and Rey is more than happy to give back in the same intensity. They reach Ben’s door and with much difficulty and a lot of grunts—from him because he doesn't want to stop kissing her—, he finally manages to open his door, pulling her into his arms once he crosses the threshold, locking the door with a kick while he kisses her again, his hand finding the zipper of her dress and pulling it down.</p><p> </p><p>Ben helps her out of the dress, not even minding that it plops on the floor in the middle of his living room. He takes a minute to gawk at her body—she’s not wearing a bra and she decided to wear a pink thong<em>, just in case</em>—, completely thunderstruck.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Fucking Christ</em>,” he rasps out. “You’re a fucking <em>dream.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Rey feels her entire body blush.</p><p> </p><p>Ben doesn't waste too much time away from her, though. He pulls her towards him again, kissing her desperately, walking backward to the couch.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” she murmurs against his kiss. “Bed, please.”</p><p> </p><p>“Rey,” he grunts, like he can wait any longer. He rolls one of her nipples between his thumb and forefinger and she whimpers.</p><p> </p><p>“Bed, <em>please</em>, baby,” she begs. Dragging his other hand towards her cunt, she makes him feel how wet she’s for him already.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck,” he swears. “You're gonna make me lose my mind, Rey.”</p><p> </p><p>It's the last thing he says before he picks her up and drags her upstairs to his bedroom.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>$$$</strong> </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Ben drops Rey on the floor of his bedroom in front of his bed, he all but tears off her thong off of her. She gasps, shocked, but he gently sits her down, and crouching down on his knees, puts her legs on his shoulders and mouths at her cunt.</p><p> </p><p>It happened so fast Rey couldn't even wrap her mind around it—she could only let out a shriek of surprise and moan loudly as he lapped at her labia with such intensity it made tears well up in her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“You're the best thing I've ever tasted,” he mumbles against her cunt, the vibrations of his voice sending a surge of pleasure from head to toe. “The sweetest pussy I've ever eaten.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ben, <em>fuck</em>—” she shouts, squirming under his grip.</p><p> </p><p>She doesn't know if she wants to escape from the relentless assault of his sweet, filthy mouth—and his hold on her legs is vise-like—or cant her hips forward, shoving her cunt impossibly closer. He licks and licks and licks like he's possessed, like he's <em>starving</em>. The pleasure borders on overwhelming. And still, she can't get enough, so <em>close </em>to an earth-shattering orgasm.</p><p> </p><p>He prods two fingers inside her cunt, grinding them in and out at a hard pace whilst he still licks at her clit. Rey sees <em>stars. </em>She wails, her voice coming out all high-pitched, “Holy—fuck—Ben, you're gonna kill me—”</p><p> </p><p>He chuckles against her cunt, like the smug bastard he is. And with a crook of his fingers inside and a hard suck at her clit, Rey <em>screams</em> and she is coming, harder than she’s ever came in her life, her whole body shaking violently, a spurt of fluid gushing out of her, making a mess of Ben’s face, suit, bedsheets.</p><p> </p><p><em>Fuck</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Ben looks fully flabbergasted. His mouth hangs open, staring at her cunt and then at her face. “Have you ever—”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>No</em>,” she cries out. “God, I’m so sorry, what a mess I’ve made—”</p><p> </p><p>Rey hides her face in her hands, completely embarrassed.</p><p> </p><p>In a moment, he's on top of her, grabbing her hands and pinning them down on the matters.</p><p> </p><p>“That was the hottest thing that ever happened to me,” he tells her earnestly. “You’re a fucking <em>dream.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>She tries to wriggle out of his grasp, but he presses his body on top of hers, his erect cock rubbing against her stomach. She gasps.</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you embarrassed?” he asks gently.</p><p> </p><p>“Because—because we're gonna have to change the bedsheets,” she says dumbly.</p><p> </p><p>Ben rolls her eyes at her.</p><p> </p><p>“I don't know <em>why</em> I'm embarrassed, okay? This never happened and look at this whole mess, I just—”</p><p> </p><p>“Did it feel good?” he interrupts her. “Did you like it?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” she admits, blushing. “It was the strongest orgasm I've ever had.”</p><p> </p><p>Ben gives her a smug grin. Now it’s her turn to roll her eyes. “I’m gonna kick you on the balls, I swear to god.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m gonna fuck you so hard right now, Rey,” he tells her, ignoring her threat. “Wanna see if you can do that again.”</p><p> </p><p>She swallows thickly and nods.</p><p> </p><p>“On all fours, while I take off my clothes, sweetheart,” he commands.</p><p> </p><p>Rey doesn't even know how she musters the strength to move, but as she obliges his request, she hears the faint sound of his suit being thrown around the room and then after another minute, the sound of his belt being unbuckled. Soon, the mattress is dipping under his weight. Soon, his hands are spanning her back, gripping her hips, pulling her towards him.</p><p> </p><p>“You have no idea how much I missed you,” he says softly.</p><p> </p><p>Rey wishes she could see his face, but suddenly he's lining himself up to her entrance, his cockhead slotting in slowly and she gasps at the feeling.</p><p> </p><p>“Missed being inside you like this,” he rasps out while he pushes infuriatingly slowly, inch by inch. “Missed splitting this tight pussy on my cock. So fucking <em>tight</em>. I lose my mind, every time I’m inside you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ben,” she breathes out, clutching the sheets so tightly her knuckles go white.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, he bottoms out. God, will she ever be used to the way he fills her up so deliciously? She feels him stretching her walls in a way that drives her <em>mad</em>. She needs him to <em>move</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Ben, <em>please</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, remember when I said I liked to hear you begging?”</p><p> </p><p>She nods furiously. Trying to wiggle her ass and thrust back against him, but to no avail. His grip on her hips is stronger and the sensation of being impaled on his cock is <em>too much.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Beg, sweetheart.”</p><p> </p><p>“Baby, <em>please</em>, please fuck me, missed your cock so much,” she babbles away. “Please, please, fuck me, <em>please—</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“Such a <em>good girl</em>, asking me so nicely.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” she cranes her neck to look at him. “Fuck me, pretty please.”</p><p> </p><p>When Ben begins to move, it feels like the breath has been knocked out of her lungs. It's a tight fit, <em>so tight, </em>and he thrusts in a fast, almost punishing pace, and <em>oh</em>, it's <em>glorious</em>, the way he grunts how well she takes him, how perfect her cunt is, how he's going insane because of it. Rey basks in his praises, a string of moans and <em>yes yes yes </em>coming out of her mouth while he fucks her like his life depends on it, like it's going to be the last time he ever does it.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, he slips out of her and she almost cries at the loss. She’s already so close to another orgasm. But Ben quickly flips her around and settles himself on top of her, bending her knees up.</p><p> </p><p>“Like our first time,” he explains. “Wanna cum inside you looking at your pretty face.”</p><p> </p><p>Rey almost laughs at the whole absurdity of him being so filthy and romantic at the same time. But he pushes his cock into her cunt again, thrusting roughly and just <em>right</em>, hitting the right places inside of her and the laughter dies in her throat, a moan coming out of her mouth instead.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me you're never gonna run away again,” he pleads.</p><p> </p><p>Rey gazes up at him. Pushing a sweaty strand of hair out of his face, she replies simply, “I’m never gonna run away again.”</p><p> </p><p>The smile he gives her in return takes her breath away. “Now cum for me, sweetheart.”</p><p> </p><p>He snakes his hand between them and darts out to the middle of her legs, finding her clit and thumbing at it roughly. Shortly, Rey is coming for the second time that night, albeit not as forceful as the first time. She hopes it's not the last, too.</p><p> </p><p>“Good girl,” he tells her after she cums, kissing her temple. Picking up the pace of his thrusts, she can tell he's close. He grunts out, “Gonna fill your tight pussy, Rey, gonna fill you so good—”</p><p> </p><p>He comes with a low shout, his cock twitching inside her, spilling warm spurts of cum, drenching her walls. Ben lets out a happy sigh before flipping them again, so Rey is on top of him. Her body is pliant and sated, and she feels like she is almost bursting with happiness.</p><p> </p><p>As they lay there in the comfortable silence, she focuses on his heartbeat under her ear and realizes how much it soothes her. Ben runs his hands on her back, humming softly.</p><p> </p><p>It's getting harder to stay awake, his hums lulling her to sleep and she’s almost dozing off when she remembers something.</p><p> </p><p>“Grandad said he thinks we will be good for each other.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you agree with him?” he asks softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” she says firmly. “I know there’s still a lot of things for me to work out in therapy. But I really, really want for us to be good to each other. And make each other happy. Because I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>He kisses her forehead. “I want to make you happy, because I love you, too.”</p><p> </p><p>She nods against his chest, her eyelids closing off involuntarily. Still, before she completely passes out, she says, “Ben?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sweetheart?”</p><p> </p><p>“You already make me happy.”</p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
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  <b>113. THREE WEEKS LATER.</b>
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  <b>115.</b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>116.</b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>117.</b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>118.</b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>119. A FEW WEEKS LATER.</b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>120.</b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>121. THREE MONTHS LATER. </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>122.</b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>123.</b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>124.</b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>125.</b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>126.</b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It doesn't take long for Ben to show up at her door like he said he would. Despite their beginning, as she waited for him wearing the exact same robe she's wearing now before life took on a tremendous turn, he had always been a punctual man. Still, it's not untrue to say the last twenty minutes made Rey incredibly anxious and nervous, imagining the numerous scenarios that <em>could </em>happen after she popped up the question. She's thought about the ones where he could say no the most, unfortunately, chewing on her perfectly manicured nails, but that's just because there's still a part of her so afraid to lose him, to find out the last few months building up a relationship, a life with him has been nothing but a fantastic, perfect dream. However, this part doesn't win over the one that deep down <em>knows</em> Ben is <em>hers</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They are each other’s perfect half and reminding herself of that only added to the rightness she felt when she realized what she had to do: ask him to marry her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she hears the sound of keys turning on the door, she grabs the glass of wine off of the coffee table and, getting up slowly, Rey finds out her legs are wobbly, so she sits back down on the couch in the living room, waiting for him to come and find her. Ben shows up in front of her not even a minute later, his brow furrowing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” he asks, immediately, as soon as he sets his eyes on her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Perhaps Rey should have done things differently: maybe she should have planned it better; ask him out somewhere nice, reserved for just the two of them, a more romantic scenario. Because of the looks of him, she knows she must have scared him with her texts, but after she decided it was what she wanted to do, she couldn't have just brushed it off. She feels a mixture of anxiousness and excitement coursing through her body, just by looking at him. It's just… God, she loves him <em>so much.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rey? What’s wrong?” he repeats, his voice tinged with worry.</p>
<p>Finally, Rey gathers up enough strength to get up and walk to him slowly, keeping her eyes on him. She reaches up and takes his hand in hers. Gazing up at him, she says, “There’s something I need to tell you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay,” Ben looks down at her and swallows visibly, nervously. “What is it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey didn't even think of formulating a speech. She just studies his face, his beautiful features and it dawns on her how sure she is of wanting to wake up every day next to him and be able to admire it all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, she asks softly: “Are you happy? With me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He blinks slowly, and not really understanding her question, he asks, “Rey, what is—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She interrupts him. “Just—just answer the question, Ben.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Yes</em>,” he replies firmly. “I <em>am </em>happy with you. What does it have to do with—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey sets a hand over his chest to stop him. He puts his hand over hers. She begins, “I was thinking… I never would have imagined that I would come to love someone so much. That I would love you so much. It's way more than sex, which started it all and it's still <em>fucking</em> amazing, I might add, but it's the little things, you know, how you know how I like my eggs for breakfast, and how you took my hand when we first went out with your cousin and your friends because you just knew how nervous I was, and how you tuck me into one of your sweaters and turn on my favorite comfort movies when I’m sad or how you finally admitted <em>Normal People</em> made you cry like a baby. And just how in sync with each other we are and how it's <em>easy</em> for me to be myself with you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben looks at her with a puzzled look. When he opens his mouth to speak, Rey shushes him. She thinks of the countless times she had searched uselessly for everything he gives her in other men and gets teary, her voice cracking, “I always looked for this kind of relationship for <em>so long</em>. I never thought I would have the luck to find it. But I did. And I don't ever want to be without you. And I hope you feel that, too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rey—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So,” she inhales deeply. “Would you—no, that's not the right way to say it, dammit—can you—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rey?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She shakes her head, trying to finally get it right. “Will you—will you marry me, Ben? Because I’m pretty sure I'll be loving you for the rest of my life, and I just want—I just want for you to make me yours forever.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For a while, he doesn't say anything; seemingly too stunned to talk. And then he exhales a huff of breath and blurts out, “<em>Jesus.”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Not exactly the kind of reply Rey was expecting. Frowning, she opens her mouth, “What—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought you were going to <em>break up</em> with me,” he tells her with an amused laugh. “<em>Jesus</em>,” he repeats and then gets down on one knee, his hands fumbling through his jacket’s pockets.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey doesn't have the vaguest idea of what the hell is going on. “I—what—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben continues kneeling on the floor, his eyes intent on her face when he finally fishes a black velvet box out of his pocket. He opens it slowly, showcasing a square-cut pink diamond with small flower shaped diamonds on either side. It's <em>beautiful.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Oh.”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You said you wanted a pink diamond, but you ruined my plans, sweetheart,” he tells her, his voice thick. “I was planning on proposing to you this weekend after I suggested a getaway in Takodana.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh—I didn't know—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sighs and shrugs. “It’s okay. I love that you felt like you <em>just </em>had to ask me, because you couldn't wait any longer. I waited because I didn't want you to feel pressured or like we rushed into something you weren't ready for yet, but the truth is, Rey, I bought this ring the day after that party when you said you loved me. I knew I wouldn't want to be without you ever again. Never in my wildest dreams, I could imagine you’d want me, but I’m thrilled we’re here and we’re building something together. I want us to last forever. I want to marry you and start a family with you and grow old with you. Please, <em>oh please</em>, Rey Kenobi, will you marry me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey didn't even realize there were tears streaming down her face, blurring her vision. She feels like her heart is caught in her throat and that she's close to bursting with so much love for him. She exhales a shaky breath and says, “Yes. A thousand times, <em>yes.”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben gives her a cheeky grin, and there are tears in his eyes, too. Slowly, he takes the ring out of the box and shakily slides it on her finger. Rey admires the ring on her hand and lets out a hearty laugh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you like it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes. It’s so beautiful. Thank you, Ben.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Anything</em> for you, sweetheart.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Unhurriedly and in silence, he unties the knot of her robe, sliding it off of her and letting it fall on the floor at her feet, leaving her standing completely naked in the middle of the living room. He reaches his right hand up to her right breast, thumbing at her nipple until it tightens against his finger. Rey sighs and squeezes her eyes shut, a surge of arousal already coursing through her body.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She croaks out, “Let’s—let’s go upstairs.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No,” he tells her in a firm voice. “Want you here, right now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s never one to deny what he wants, especially when he's acting like this. She always wants to give him all of herself, forever. It's as easy as breathing to ask, “How—how do you want me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good girl,” he hums, pleased. “Lay down on the carpet, sweetheart.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey does as she's bid, looking up at him, waiting for what she should do next. His eyes rake over her body whilst he discards all of his clothes and shoes as quickly as he can. Soon, he's all naked and glorious, kneeling on the carpet, his hard, thick cock pointing towards her. She can't believe this marvel of a man will be her husband.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben settles himself atop of her, a bead of precum leaking on her stomach before he leans down to kiss her slowly. He readjusts himself a bit, grabbing her thigh and pushing it up, only to sink inside her cunt in one thrust. She gasps against his mouth at the intrusion, his cock filling her to the brim. He doesn't move. Lately, he's been enjoying more and more of spending the first few minutes of sex like this: stuffing her up with his cock and not moving at all, while he kisses her and touches her breasts, making her a squirming mess for him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He murmurs dazedly after breaking the kiss, “Did I hurt you? I’m sorry.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She shakes her head, trying to thrust her hips against his. “No, it's great, you feel <em>amazing</em>, can you—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You feel amazing, too,” he tells, interrupting her. “Such a tight, soaked pussy for me. I love it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She moans at his words, and dropping a kiss on the corner of her mouth, she says, “I feel so full, baby, can you please—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben ignores her again. “What were you thinking that got you so wet?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just—I remembered how it all started, and that I was wearing the same robe when I asked you to fuck me for the first time. I imagined how good it would be, our first time having sex after we got engaged.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben hides his face on the slope of her neck and hums. He slips out of her all of a sudden, and when she's about to protest the loss of fullness, he slams back in, the force of the thrust knocking the air out of her lungs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Holy fuck</em>, Ben—god—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I wanted to eat you out first, stretch you out, get you ready for my cock,” he mutters, his voice sweet. “But you're used to me by now, aren't you, sweetheart? Used to be stuffed full of my thick cock?” He repeats his movement from before, making her wail loudly when he ruts back into her. “And yet you still have such a <em>tight</em> pussy. Being inside you is always a dream, you know that, right, Rey?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey doesn't register his words exactly, too focused on the way he's torturing her in the most delicious way with his controlled, forceful thrusts. She needs the friction, needs a rhythm, but every time he slips out and pushes back in, she feels him hitting all the right places inside her, already bringing her closer to a mind-blowing orgasm. He does it again and again, his chest heaving with the effort of holding on as he locks eyes with her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>So good</em>,” she babbles, feeling on the brink of exploding. “You always fuck me so good. Can't believe you're gonna be my husband.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben chuckles lowly before thrusting back inside her again. “Gonna fuck my future wife like this every day.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes—<em>yes</em>, <em>please</em>,” she agrees, clenching around his cock. “Make me cum. Wanna cum so bad, Ben.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben puts her arms over her head, and entangling his fingers on hers, and he holds both of her hands tightly. Gazing down at her, he croaks out, “Look at me. Wanna see your face when I make you cum.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She nods quickly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And then he's slipping in and out and ramming back in over and over again, rough thrusts making the drag of his cock inside her the most pleasing thing. She whimpers and writhes under him, he punctuates each thrust with filth praise and she becomes such a babbling mess over it, over his perfect cock, over him. It's wonderful and dirty and messy, and it's <em>them </em>and she's gonna have this <em>forever</em>, so shortly she's over the edge, looking up at him, mouth open in a gasp before she's coming so hard, clenching around his cock with a wild wail and shuddering under him while he continues to shove inside, working her through another orgasm, his own grunts fusing with her moans until he stills and she feels his cock twitching and gushing wet inside of her, making her come again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey exhales a shaky breath when she comes down off her high. She looks up at Ben with a dreamy expression. She untangles their hands and reaching her hand up, she takes the sweaty hair off his forehead. He kisses her palm and she sighs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before moving out of her, Ben extends his hand to the couch and picks some cushions, settling it under Rey’s head. Then, slowly, he slips out of her and lays by her side. Rey slides closer to him, letting her head rest on his chest. He drops a kiss to her hairline, rubbing circles soothingly on her back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bringing her hand up to their view, Rey admires her ring once again. “You have such good taste.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“To be fair, my mom helped me choose this one,” he admits.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey laughs out loud. “Ah, then, I guess <em>Leia </em>has a great taste,” she says mockingly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The result is him pinching her ass, making her yelp.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Always behaving like a <em>brat</em>. Gonna throw you over my knee, <em>again.</em>”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey’s head perks up with interest. “Now?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He gives her a stunned look. “<em>Rey</em>.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not my fault you’re really good at spanking me and I cum so hard after.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“God, you’re <em>insatiable,</em> woman,” he tells her with a sigh. And then, “Give me twenty minutes and we can go again.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She giggles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Settling her hands on his chest and resting her chin atop of them, she looks at him and asks, “Do you want a big wedding?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He runs his thumb over her cheek. “I want whatever you want. Whatever makes you happy, makes me happy, too.” She hums in agreement. “Hey. Are you happy?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She gives him a wide smile. “Disgustingly so.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good. That's what I want.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A beat after: “How many kids do you want?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He furrows his brow, thinking of an answer. “Five.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>What</em>? <em>No!</em>”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Damn it, I was going to say ten.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Ben!</em>”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I just want a really big family.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Find another woman for that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He tsks. “No, you're stuck with me, remember? No take backs.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She groans. “I only want two.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>At least </em>two,” he retorts.</p>
<p>She shakes her head. “You’re not the one who's going to push them out of your vagina, buddy. So, you have no say in that matter.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now it's his turn to groan. “<em>Rey</em>.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Two, or I'll change my mind to just one.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shutting up now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They fall into comfortable silence after that. Rey snuggles closer into him, enjoying how the moonlight coming through the windows of the living room glows prettily on his pale skin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, Ben?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, sweetheart?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are <em>you</em> happy?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He hums contentedly. “Disgustingly so.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She smiles against his chest before eventually drifting off to sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>127. </b>
</p><p>
  <b>  </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>  </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>  </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>128.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>  </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>  </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>129. ONE YEAR LATER. </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>  </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>  </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>130.</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>  </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>THE END.</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>come say hi to me on <a href="https://twitter.com/gvnegirI">Twitter</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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